Is Forgiveness of Homophobia a Gay Male Gift? LOP030

In this episode I speak about the challenge for gay men to forgive homophobia in their lives – be it from individuals, family, and society at large. The topic for the episode was inspired by a discussion of models of forgiveness in Raymond L. Rigolisoso’s ground-breaking book, “Gay Men and The New Way Forward” and from […]

The Internalized Homophobia Of “Straight-Acting” Gay Men

#IDAHOTB Starts With Looking At Ourselves If you’re an out and proud gay man - and whether or not you like to take it up the butt (and goodness me, why wouldn’t you? Come on, take it like a man!) - why would you label yourself as straight-acting? This is the ultimate version of internalized homophobia for many gay men. […]

Do You Know Your Passion And How To Live It?

There have been many times in my life when I knew what I wanted, without doubt or hesitation. Looking back, those moments seem absolutely glorious. Watch: When I was studying German language and linguistics (1988–1993) I knew I was on the right path. The end goal was to complete my Master’s Thesis, and then do […]

Why I’m Not Good Enough: My Dirty Gay Secret

There’s a lot of gay shame that runs as an undercurrent in my life. This morning I watched a video by coach Dax Moy. He was talking about the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is how you feel about what you did or didn’t do. Shame is how you feel about who you are […]

My Reasons For (Not) Working With Gay Men

“First I was afraid, I was petrified…” ~ Gloria Gaynor Last week I had a conversation with a coach who helped me get clear on who I work with. Essentially she helped me come out. Again. “Why don’t you work with gay men, Darren?” This question has come up with a few coaches I’ve worked with on […]