Is Forgiveness of Homophobia a Gay Male Gift? LOP030


In this episode, I speak about the challenge for gay men to forgive homophobia in their lives โ€“ be it from individuals, family, and society at large.

The topic for the episode was inspired by a discussion of models of forgiveness in Raymond L. Rigolisosoโ€™s ground-breaking book, โ€œGay Men and The New Way Forwardโ€ and from his coaching group that Iโ€™m participating in, โ€œGay Men of Wisdomโ€.

I discuss the meaning and origins of the word, forgiveness, and what it means to me on a personal level (including how Iโ€™ve experienced homophobia and what I do and donโ€™t forgive). I dive into how we could define forgiveness with respect to homophobia to contribute to the betterment of society.

I look at where forgiveness as a distinct gay male gift originates and how that knowledge could shape future generations.

With forgiveness we do not condone homophobia. Instead we seek to confront it with compassion and dialogue. When we can come from that place it demonstrates to others the level of self-worth we have for ourselves.

Living OUT theme music: โ€œSummerโ€ by ~ Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash

1 comment

  • I was “introduced” to you by Ray Rigoglioso in his Gay Men of Wisdom email yesterday. I just listened to your podcast about forgiving homophobia. I’m writing to say hello, to say thank you for putting that out, to say I resonated with your expression “gay field of consciousness,” and to share that this idea of forgiveness has been very important to me as a psychotherapist and as a gay activist. I assisted Ray in publishing GAY MEN AND THE NEW WAY FORWARD, and I contributed the Introduction to the book about seeing the world differently. Your ideas about forgiving and thereby overcoming the hurts of growing up in a homophobic world really parallel that idea of how to see the world differently.

Darren is a leadership coach in Toronto, Canada who helps his clients to connect and embrace their uniqueness and freely create the life they want. He writes and podcasts regularly about Queer Leadership.