When Your Leadership Is Called Into Question or Criticized, How Do You Respond?

Recently, Adam Grant wrote on his Substack, Granted,

“People who can’t handle criticism are unfit to lead. Weak leaders fear dissent as a threat to their power. They silence their critics to shield their egos. Strong leaders welcome dissent as an opportunity for growth. They silence their egos to learn from their critics.”

Are you a change leader who can’t handle criticism?

If yes, how do you normally react?

Let me say that I don’t believe Grant’s suggestion that “People who can’t handle criticism are unfit to lead” is nuanced enough — or even entirely true.

Grant is a well-respected leader in his field who regularly publishes these short-format, insightful ideas, like the above. However, I believe his statement lacks human-heartedness. No one is above the sting of criticism, so let’s consider what’s happening when others challenge who we are or what we are doing as leaders.

To lead in a way to make a meaningful difference in the world is to live in full alignment with your ethics and to embody the kind of leadership that cultivates dignity, equity, and humanity.

This style of leadership I’m describing is the difference between being in your own power — and being an inspiration to others to follow your lead — versus powering over others with control and force.

If you’re a leader in any capacity who cares about making a positive difference in the world, you are going to come up against resistance and dissent.

Let’s consider how you might feel when challenged or criticized for something you said, wrote, or did.

Do you feel…

1. Attacked or defensive
2. Uncertain or unsure
3. Unrecognized or unvalued
4. Stupid or ashamed

There’s value in experiencing each of those feelings and reactions when your leadership is criticized because it means you’re human.

Your reaction means you care about what you are doing and the people you are supporting enough to doubt yourself.

Whatever your emotional response, criticism invites you to look inward to assess your beliefs, thought process, and actions — and to decide if you need to make refinements.

For me, forceful or negative criticism of my ideas is an emotional trigger based on my childhood. I often feel immediately defensive. I try to let that reaction pass so that I can respond thoughtfully. Perhaps I wasn’t clear enough in what I communicated, or every wrong. If I was wrong, I own my mistake and correct it. However, if I think I’m right about what I stand for, I will do my best to further explain my position and reasoning.

While I possess humility and flexibility in my beliefs and reasoning, I have sometimes lacked confidence about what I have said (in part because I’m an over-thinker).

What About You?

I invite you to consider the following questions to discover where you stand in your leadership efficacy.

Think about a time when your leadership was called into question and ask yourself:

1. How did you feel? Was it one of the four examples above, or something else?
2. Is there an observable pattern? Meaning, is one of the four responses your most common reaction?
3. How did you act at the moment? Do you push through or pull back? And how is that working for you?
4. What was the meta-lesson? Meaning, is there an opportunity to become more skillful in dealing with criticism?
5. How do you want to feel and act differently the next time your leadership is criticized or questioned?
6. What do you need to know or what skill do you need to feel and act in the way you described in the last question?

Human-Hearted leaders and ethical change-makers create positive freedom for those they guide and support to experience more of what makes their lives meaningful and joyful.

What’s important to notice about what I wrote above is the word THEIR, which refers to both you and those you lead.

You can’t cultivate meaning or joy in others without creating or experiencing it first in yourself.

True leadership is not one-sided.

To lead others is a mutual exchange of commitment, energy, and trust to work together towards making an impactful difference.

When others challenge what you stand for, how do you stay grounded in critical thinking, integrity, and dignity — while still working to make a difference in the world?

Your wisdom, leadership, and guidance are precisely what someone needs right now.

If you're struggling with criticism or challenged to stand up for what you believe is right, let's meet for a strategy session to uncover what's holding you back — and release the brakes on your path to becoming an influential and impactful leader.