What’s Wrong With Me? — Here’s A Better Question to Ask If You’re Struggling and Can’t Figure Out Why.

This morning, I almost asked myself the most self-deprecating question, “What’s wrong with me?”

I was morning journalling about the day before. I was in such a dark place that I hardly spoke to my partner, didn’t make eye contact, suffered an intense tension headache, and felt like I would punch anything that triggered me. My goal in writing was to get clarity and reframe why I felt that way, and what I could do today, now that I was feeling rested and had a calm mind.

After detailing what happened and all the reasons, I came to a conclusion — one I’ve been dreading accepting for myself.

Watch the video for a more thorough discussion.

Maybe it was the complete acceptance of my situation and taking personal responsibility that created the calm consideration of how I can deal with it.

Recounting how long I’ve been struggling with the issue, I almost wrote, “After all these years, I have to ask, What’s wrong with me?” Perhaps because I have coached many clients through this self-deprecating question, I instead wrote,

“Is there something I don’t know?”

Self-talk that creates self-judgement, comparison, and shame is not self-empowering.

It’s downright unhealthy and damaging to your self-esteem!

If you’ve truly done something wrong you feel guilt about, own up to it. However, if you’re struggling with something not going to plan — for example, how to make more money, get a better job, or why your business isn’t growing — consider if you’re missing skills or knowledge.

Ask yourself, “Am I ignorant or incompetent?”

Ignorant = you don’t know something

Incompetent = you’re lacking a skill

The difference between staying stuck where you are or overcoming adversity is whether you’re willfully ignorant and incompetent or consciously aware of what you don’t know and the skills you’re lacking.

Admitting what you don’t know is the first step toward transformation and creating a better future.

If you're struggling, doubting yourself, or wondering "What's wrong with me?", let's have a conversation.

Click here to book a discovery session with me.

Cover image: Andrew Wong