“When you drop the struggle with shame and accept life as it is without judgment, you find great freedom on the other side. It is freedom to be who you are, exactly as you are. The only real meaning in life is found in being who you are right now, without apologies.”
~ The Velvet Rage. Allan Downs
This quotation makes me proud to be an out, highly functioning gay man. 🙂
This quotation also reminds me of why it’s so important for me to proclaim my queer identity, and to be the change I want to see in the world.
Th-Ink Queerly is a double entendre times two.Read More »The Freedom of Accepting Who You Are Right Now
For as long as I can remember it’s always been a man and a woman.
For as long as I can remember it’s always been about god.
For as long as I can remember it’s always been about fitting in.
I have never had sex with a woman.
I never want to. I have known I was gay since I was five years old, but I didn’t know the words.
I don’t believe in god.
The only thing that might come close is having faith in my potential.Read More »Shoving My Queer Agenda in Your Face — Take It!
The 10 Commandments of heteronormativity for gay men who want to fit in, fall in line, and be respectable.
1. “Thou shalt judge other gays.”
The way to fit in and never be suspected of being gay is to make fun of people who are clearly gay. Flamboyant much? Sound like a sissy fag? Perfect targets for humour and distain. Subvert the shame of your closet by making fun of someone else in an attempt to falsely make yourself feel better.
2. “Thou shalt hold your voice silent when others make homophobic comments.”
Don’t rock the boat. You wouldn’t want to be outed. Even if others don’t suspect you of being gay, just keep silent. The status quo loves it when you don’t support or stand up for the other.Read More »The 10 Commandments for Being a Respectable Gay Man
There’s a lot of gay shame that runs as an undercurrent in my life.
This morning I watched a video by coach Dax Moy. He was talking about the difference between guilt and shame.
- Guilt is how you feel about what you did or didn’t do.
- Shame is how you feel about who you are or who you are not.
A light clicked on, illuminating something that’s been a challenge for me all my life.
I have shame around becoming successful.
What? But the success I envision for myself hasn’t happened yet.