Tagqueer

If Ever There Were a Time to Tell the Truth…

If Ever There Were a Time to Tell the Truth

Why the COVID-19 pandemic lockdown is the pivotal moment to choose to be free by discerning your truth. This is a powerful thought experiment prompt that could reveal far more about who you are, now during the COVID-19 pandemic and lockdown than at any other time. “If ever there were a time to tell the truth, what do I need to say? Who do I...

What Constitutes a Queer Leadership?

What Constitutes a Queer Leadership

Laying the stepping stones for a new way forward. For some time I’ve been pondering the question, “What is queer leadership — and does it even exist?” It would be easier to ask, “What is Gay Leadership?” because we have witnessed gay leadership work to usher in many of the rights, freedoms, and acceptance that we enjoy — albeit...

Is Instagram to Blame for Gay Thirst Traps or Those Who Follow? LOP064

Instagram to Blame for Gay Thirst Traps or Those Who Follow

Reading my Twitter feed last week, I read this knee-jerk reaction to people with beautiful bodies posting pictures of themselves on Instagram, AKA “Thirst Traps”: Hyperbolic language doesn’t solve problems. Putting all of Instagram and gay thirst traps into a single container generally makes things worse. This is the path of blaming...

A Conscious Meditation on the Gap

Conscious Meditation on the Gap

Entering the space between all things. There is nothing but space between worry and fear. There is nothing but space between love and hate. There is nothing but space between acceptance and rejection. There is nothing but space… …between right and wrong, …between you and me, …between us and them, …between male and female, or masculine...

Rudolph The Red Nose Reindeer Is a Queer Hero’s Journey – LOP041

Rudolph Red Nose Reindeer Queer Hero’s Journey

Viewing the 1964 cartoon through a queer lens. As a little boy, I loved the classic Christmas cartoon, Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. I must’ve watched it every Christmas as a child, then as a teenager, and almost every year since. Rudolph was my first queer role model and boy was he ever fierce! Rudolph showed a strength of character at a young...

The Freedom of Accepting Who You Are Right Now

“When you drop the struggle with shame and accept life as it is without judgment, you find great freedom on the other side. It is freedom to be who you are, exactly as you are. The only real meaning in life is found in being who you are right now, without apologies.” ~ The Velvet Rage. Allan Downs This quotation makes me proud to be an out, highly...

Shoving My Queer Agenda in Your Face — Take It!

For as long as I can remember it’s always been a man and a woman. For as long as I can remember it’s always been about god. For as long as I can remember it’s always been about fitting in. I have never had sex with a woman. I never want to. I have known I was gay since I was five years old, but I didn’t know the words. I don’t believe in god. The...

The 10 Commandments for Being a Respectable Gay Man

10-commandments

Behold! The 10 Commandments of heteronormativity for gay men who want to fit in, fall in line, and be respectable. 1. “Thou shalt judge other gays.” The way to fit in and never be suspected of being gay is to make fun of people who are clearly gay. Flamboyant much? Sound like a sissy fag? Perfect targets for humour and distain. Subvert...

Why I’m Not Good Enough: My Dirty Gay Secret

Why I’m Not Good Enough - My Dirty Gay Secret

There’s a lot of gay shame that runs as an undercurrent in my life. This morning I watched a video by coach Dax Moy. He was talking about the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is how you feel about what you did or didn’t do. Shame is how you feel about who you are or who you are not. A light clicked on, illuminating something that’s been a...

Darren is a leadership coach in Toronto, Canada who helps his clients to connect and embrace their uniqueness and freely create the life they want. He writes and podcasts regularly about Queer Leadership.