3 min read

Why It’s Never Too Late to Change, No Matter How Old You Are

Why It’s Never Too Late to Change, No Matter How Old You Are
On Saturday, January 27, 2018 I was interviewed by my friend and media-personality, Shaun Proulx on his SiriusXM Canada show.

The topic of discussion was reinvention and that it’s never too later to change. I’ve summarized the main talking points with time stamps, below. Enjoy!

http://soundcloud.com/darrenstehle/never-too-late-to-reinvent-darren-stehle-on-the-shaun-proulx-show/s-9NIFQ

2:00 My reinvention and the struggle to get there.

Why I was struggling in my previous business. I wasn’t getting the success I had hoped for, nor was I getting very much satisfaction from my work.

2:30 Why did I wait two years before I made this change?

The challenge of making big life changes and learning how to get our of your own way. How I discovered what was blocking me and how long that block had been hiding in my closet. The parts of ourselves we keep in the closet, even if we’re completely out.

4:00 We’re not here to suffer.

We’re not here to suck it up when faced with challenge. That in itself blocks us from moving forward in life. More good will come to you the more honest, open, and forthright you are in life.

5:50 Trying to come out as something you’re not.

When I tried to serve everyone I failed, because I blocked my own best clients from working with me.

6:50 Life is a buffet.

What do you want to let go of and what do you want to keep? Change is always ahead of you, no mater how old you are. You are meant to change, grow, and experiment in life.

7:30 Why the faggot became a personal trainer?

Growing up sickly, scrawny, shy, and then mentoring for four years with a strength coach was a dominant alpha male. How this experience repressed, constrained, and blocked my identity.

http://darrenstehle.com/faggot-become-personal-trainer/

8:30 The bullying approach vs. the praising method.

How do you best operate to get things done? Do you work well under the crack of the whip, or do you like to be encouraged?

9:30 Knowing yourself.

Life is about learning. Where do you get your life experiences from to learn? What did you suffer through and what did you enjoy? What have you learned from your experiences, good or bad? It is never too late to reinvent.

12:00 On breaking up with him.

I broke up with my old business and business model and replaced it with something new. How this happened and the support I’m getting from my coach. Why I wasn’t able to reinvent until I completely let go.

http://darrenstehle.com/broke-yesterday-now-im-free/

14:30 To make big changes you need to get into the nitty gritty.

What are some simple entrance tools to get into the details of how to change? Understand what makes you happy, what brings you joy, and what’s your passion.

http://darrenstehle.com/cute-little-joys-gay-boyfriend/

16:35 FEAR — False Evidence Appearing Real.

Why we too often make choices based on what scares us instead of what inspires us or brings us joy. How do you combat fear?

http://medium.com/@darrenstehle/f-e-a-r-false-evidence-appearing-real-3e7d91d12c72

18:00 You don’t have to make big moves.

Sometimes all you need is to spend time on a new hobby, or take a course in something you’d love to experience. The “taste” of that thing that brings you joy might satisfy you, or might compel you to seek more. Make dates with yourself, especially for the things that bring you joy.

http://medium.com/th-ink/how-do-you-measure-the-quality-of-your-life-c440378ce4ee

19:50 False pride in being busy.

When do you make time just for yourself? Your life is short. Tomorrow is not a promise.

http://medium.com/th-ink/what-are-you-going-to-remember-when-youre-on-your-death-bed-228840b1ac40

21:40 Caught in the priorities trap.

Time vs. priorities vs. values. What are you core values? Understand that we create our own time.

http://medium.com/th-ink/how-to-live-your-life-according-to-your-top-3-values-ff393d5e262d

22:40 The #MeToo Movement.

How men can help. We need to start by listening fully and with empathy. Use your imagination to put yourself in the shoes of others.

http://medium.com/th-ink/kevin-spacey-metoo-and-the-problem-of-gay-shame-585d5f1bab7

Check out more episodes of The @ShaunProulxShow on @SXMCanadaTalks Chanel 167.

#ThinkQueerly