Leadership, Control, and Being Out of Your Mind
Where’s your head at?
Have you lost your mind?
You’re acting like a crazy person!
Have you been feeling a bit out of your mind or like you’re losing your mind these last couple of months?
Remember the COVID-19 lockdown? Same shit, different pile, right?
You know what I’m talking about: the current polarization of politics happening world-wide; the stupid and insane tariffs trade-war; the frightening resurgence of anti-LGBTQ+ laws and hate; and the genocide in Palestine. Did I miss anything?
Every time we read the news, something crazy, unbelievable, horrific, or tragic is happening. Both social media algorithms and news publishers want your focused addiction on bad news for multiple reasons, all of which serve their bottom line and the amount of control and power they possess.
Understand that I am not diminishing any of the significant challenges that are happening in the world right now.
However, the real issue rests with each one of us:
- How do we master our emotions and reactions to think logically?
- How do we master our responses to external events during times of great uncertainty and disruption?
- How do we lead ourselves as an example for others to create a better world out of what seems like chaos, disruption, and unfairness?
What You Perceive Is What You Believe.
Understand all that's happening right now is always going to happen. That what happens will happen is precisely what is out of your control. If you’re on board with what I’m saying, how does having a meltdown help you?
If you keep focusing on bad news, that’s all you’re going to see (and feel).
What matters is how and where you choose to focus your attention — and being acutely mindful of what triggers you and how you practice self-regulation.
Specifically, what matters and what you can control is how you show up in the world. Namely, how you actively CHOOSE to make a difference. How you inspire others through your leadership is how you CHOOSE to respond to the situation — to give yourself and others practical tools to solve problems that seem insurmountable.
What I’m not saying is that you can’t grieve, get angry, lose your temper, or be totally pissed off.
Occasionally, we need to let out those emotions, preferably in a well-regulated way that doesn’t harm ourselves or others. What matters is how long you stay in that space and what you do next.
So, ask yourself,
- What’s of my doing?
- What’s of someone else’s doing?
- What can I do about it?
Blaming someone else for what’s happening is a normal human reaction. However, all it does is create more stress and uncertainty for yourself and others who CHOOSE to experience and participate in YOUR negative reaction.
The expression, level heads prevail is a useful reminder.
Having a level head means that you’re metaphorically in your mind instead of outside of it. What that means is that you’re able to access your logical reasoning facilities and make careful choices about how to respond. You have preempted the fight-flight-freeze reaction for a calm, logical, and reasonable action.
This is the crux of reasonableness; it’s fucking slow.
It takes more time to think calmly, clearly, and logically than it does to have a knee-jerk emotional reaction. Being reasonable requires patience and practice — not just in how well one reasons, but in how efficiently one can catch themselves before crossing the red line into extreme emotional reactivity.
When you’re out of your mind, everything seems to require an immediate response. Like — NOW!
- “Something must be done!”
- “Why isn’t anyone doing anything about this!”
- “I can’t believe this is happening!”
Hyperbole, declarative statements, overly general categorizations, and false logic dominate out-of-your mind reactions. They are useless expressions devoid of any productive change-making action.
(Just the other day, I wrote an angry email response. It was a small slip, but a slip nonetheless. Was I right? I had a point, but I could have expressed my frustrations better with a well-reasoned response that may have changed the other person’s mind — or not. But I would have felt much calmer and wouldn't have been annoyed all day about it.)
The danger with shouting and making declarations about right or wrong is that you push people farther away from understanding.
This is the basic law of resistance: push someone and they will push back.
Tell them they're wrong, and they will likely hunker down even deeper to defend what THEY BELIEVE to be true. You cannot win an argument in a fight.
Remember, what you perceive is what you believe.
How you show up in the world to defend or support your perceptions (your beliefs and values) affects your feelings and behaviours as much as others. You get to CHOOSE how you want to model leadership, so choose well.
In these excessively challenging times,
- How do you keep a level head so that you can lead from the heart and stand up for what you know is right?
- How do you inspire others to take action for the kind of social evolution you would like to see in the world?
- How do you perceive yourself as being a truly impactful change-maker?
Because knowing what’s right is not the same as knowing how to lead.
If you’re struggling to be a compassionate, effective, and level-headed leader at work, for your team, or for friends and family, let’s meet for a complimentary discovery call to talk about what's going on.
Every so often you need to work with someone else who can be impartial, notice what you’re not noticing, and thoughtfully guide you to focus on the areas that might be the cause of your challenges. I’m here to listen, support, and guide — not to fix or tell you what to do. I will help you align with what matters so that you can lead with clarity and conscience.
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