If You Think You Can Change the World or Other People, You Might Be Trying Too Hard

For years, I believed I could change the world — or at least that I could give people a makeover for their hearts and minds.

You can swap your clothes, move to a new place, and even find a new partner — Mr. or Ms. Right, or right now works as well. But trying to change someone else’s heart and mind? It’s just not going to happen. That’s their job, not yours.

That doesn’t mean you can’t influence how they think and act, especially if you really want to make a difference in the world.

What if you’ve got the plans, the philosophy, and the passion? How do you nudge people to think and act differently? If you can help solve someone else’s problems, won’t they just see the light and change their ways?

Trying to change someone is like attempting to herd cats.

It’s frustrating, pointless, and not the way to create lasting change.

In fact, it often leads to frustration and, at worst, despair. In the mind of the person you’re trying to change, you’re either poking at their beliefs, identity, or both. The usual response? Defensiveness — because they feel you’re threatening their comfortable, familiar world.

When was the last time someone told you how to behave or what not to do—especially if what you were doing was what you’ve always been doing?

Most likely your response was for the other person to mind their own business or to find a really dark place and go there. If the latter, hopefully you kept that to yourself!

Perhaps, potentially—but honestly, not very likely—you thought to yourself, “Well now, this person really does have a point. I think I will reform my ways and henceforth follow their rules instead of being naturally and spontaneously my true, honest self.”

That sounds like something from a work of dystopian fiction. My new book will be out soon. It’s called, “The Person Who Gave Up on Changing the World—Because They Did What They Were Told.” It’s only $149.95 because if you can’t think for yourself, you might as well pay the price.

You Can’t Change the World.

Wait — what? Didn’t Gandhi say something like, “Be the change you wish to see in the world”?

There’s only one thing that you can change, and that is yourself. If you desire to have an ‘affect’ on others, and cultivate transformative, ethical change, you need to first evolve.

Think of it like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly — there’s no crawling back. Change without evolution is just a temporary makeover. Lipstick on a pig doesn’t make it any less of a pig.

You can always revert to what was — which probably felt easier because it was familiar and normal in your life. You can’t just change a habit — you have to create a new one that overrides the old programming. Habit change is intentional and requires commitment, which, for many, is simply too much effort.

Self-mastery requires knowing what you want to change and how you plan to evolve.

To change the world, you need to evolve first and become the change you wish to see in the world, and allow others to be freely and spontaneously inspired to follow your lead.

This path requires a commitment to personal development, evolution, and transformation. That’s what I call personal responsibility — knowing yourself, managing what you can control, and intentionally choosing how you show up in the world.

This is how you lead yourself so that others notice your transformation. To lead others, you need to walk the walk so they’ll be inspired to follow along — not with you leading the charge, standing out in front or above, but walking alongside them.

First, we become the change we want to see in the world.

Then, we inspire others to join us in building a world rooted in dignity, respect, and trust.

This is often a lonely journey — until others begin to notice the natural leader you’re becoming. When they resonate with your purpose, philosophy, and principles, they’ll be drawn to you. That’s when change-making becomes a shared effort, and community begins.

“What we do to cultivate ourselves is what we do to govern the world. And among the arts we cultivate, the most subtle of all is honesty, which is the beginning and end of cultivation. When we embrace the truth, the world enjoys peace. When we turn our backs on the truth, the world suffers.” (1)

Are you a change-maker struggling to sustain your energy, stand firm in your convictions, and lead with impact?

There’s nothing wrong with you. You may simply not have found your authentic voice, mapped a clear path toward your dream, or discovered how to lead in a way that truly inspires others.

Without clarity, confidence, and influence, how can you expect others to follow your lead — or even understand what you stand for?

Ask yourself — how can you lead powerfully if you’re missing these 6 Principles?

1. If you don’t prioritize how you FEEL, how will you have the energy to lead?
2. If you’re uncertain of what you KNOW, how will you stand firm in your convictions?
3. If you don’t strengthen how you THINK — with clarity and logic — how will you make sound decisions?
4. If you haven’t found your unique VOICE, how will anyone hear or care about your message?
5. If you don’t have a clear plan and strategy to realize your DREAM, how will it ever become reality?
6. And if you don’t discover your most natural and trustworthy way to LEAD, how will you inspire others?

Without mastery of these 6 Principles, frustration, uncertainty, and a lack of progress will be the norm. But when you do master them, you gain clarity, confidence, and true influence — the kind that inspires lasting change.

If this sounds like you, let’s connect for a conversation about the most difficult challenge you’re facing and the difference you want to make. I’m here to listen, support, and guide — not to fix or tell you what to do.

1. Quote attributed to Huang Yuanji in “Lao-tzu’s Taoteching: with selected commentaries from the last 2,000 years.” Translated by Red Pine.