Foundations of an Evolving Way of Human-Hearted Leadership

The following suggestions for treating others—an essential foundation of humanitarian leadership—may seem simple until we are faced with criticism, prejudice, or hatred.

When confronted with real or threatened violence, your safety should always come first.

Treat Others Like You Would Treat a Helpless, 6-Week-Old Puppy

If you see a litter of puppies and someone hands you one, you will instinctively hold it with love, kindness, tenderness, and respect. (At least, I hope so!)

This analogy is not about coddling someone’s emotions or speaking to them like a child. Instead, imagine being in a heated argument with someone. Now, in the middle of that argument, replace the person with that barely-eyes-open puppy.

Yes, it’s an extreme example, but a useful thought exercise. It reminds us to approach others with care, even in conflict.

Seek First to Understand with a Question

Asking instead of telling helps the other person gain clarity to make their best choices.

We all have opinions, but when we’re upset—or worse, enraged—we lose the ability to have a constructive conversation. This response is rooted in the way our brains have evolved to protect us from perceived threats.

The key to managing difficult conversations is maintaining peace and equanimity while preventing the slide into anger.

Pay Attention to Your Tolerance Quotient

If you feel yourself becoming intolerant of another person, what does that say about you? Is this an expression of your values, or an easy way out of a difficult conversation?

The point is not to tolerate every opinion, but to choose how we communicate with respect and understanding—even when we strongly disagree or find a viewpoint deeply objectionable.

Is there any truth, however partial, in what they are saying?

That small thread of truth can be a bridge to dialogue. Crossing that bridge fosters trust between opposing perspectives—trust that may not have existed before.

Group-Think and Personal Attacks Rarely Change Minds

Attacking someone personally, especially on social media, usually reinforces their beliefs rather than challenging them.

If you are the one being attacked or threatened in a group setting, one possible response is to describe how you are feeling in the first person ("I am feeling…") without naming names. This might work in a smaller group, but in larger or virtual settings, disengaging or blocking communication may be necessary.

The practice of fairness, and the capacity to act respectfully towards others, comes from a self-confidence that is rooted in the value of human dignity.

Say What You Mean; Mean What You Say

Language has power, and in the hands of a leader, words can incite or inspire action.

This is the philosophical conundrum of free will. How conscious are we of making "conscious" choices compared to our actions that are (unconsciously) driven by habit, emotional comfort, and survival instincts?

Consider the influence of cults, lifelong religious conditioning, and ideological indoctrination. These are examples of how language can be used to shape thought and behaviour. Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) demonstrates how linguistic patterns and syntax can direct another person’s actions—including our own.

We also use language to create narratives that attract others to our cause, share our struggles, and celebrate our wins.

Therefore, use language with love, respect, and honesty.

Care for the meaning behind your words as much as you would care for that 6-week-old puppy.

Lead Yourself as If Everyone Is Watching, Even When No One Is

When I re-read these suggestions, I cringe at the memory of times I have failed to live up to them. I share them because I know how doing the opposite incites emotions and drives people apart. Change takes time and conscious, compassionate effort.

Practicing new behaviours is the only way forward.

Ultimately, this all comes down to the kind of world we want to live in.

I want a world of respect, shared humanity, and belonging. That means I must be the change I wish to see, even when it feels like I’m the only one, or one of too few.

I believe that many of us share this vision. You might have additions or suggestions to what I’ve offered here. Great! Share your thoughts with me—or better yet:

Embody these values daily, showing the world the humanity you wish to cultivate.

Lead with Clarity, Compassion, and Conviction

How you treat others reflects how you treat yourself. As a leader, your words, and actions shape the world around you—but are they aligned with the impact you want to create?

Maintaining equanimity in difficult conversations, using language with care, and leading by example require conscious effort. Without clarity on your leadership approach, it’s easy to fall into reactive patterns that limit your influence.

Your self-mastery is your leadership compass. It guides you toward meaningful, lasting transformation. But without intentional direction, you risk losing your way, becoming overwhelmed, or losing trust with those who matter most.

Are you ready to lead with greater purpose, confidence, and integrity?

Let’s meet for a conversation to refine your leadership compass and strengthen the ways you show up in the world. Click the button below to share your details and the biggest leadership challenge you’re currently facing.