Ethical Leadership Is Rooted in Self-Acceptance and Fosters a Common Humanity of Dignity and Equity

What’s the first thing you think and feel when you encounter someone radically different from yourself?

Are you curious, open, and friendly? Or do you feel critical, uncomfortable, or defensive?

If it’s the latter, have you ever paused to examine your reactions? Are you aware of the biases and judgments influencing your thoughts and actions?

No matter how open-minded we try to be, we all carry unconscious biases.

We are shaped by our upbringing—the values, traditions, and beliefs taught by parents, teachers, communities, or faith systems. But have you ever asked yourself if those beliefs are truly your own? Do you know why you hold them to be true?

It can be unsettling to realize that your moral compass may have been shaped more by external influences than by personal conviction.

Yet, without questioning our values and beliefs, we risk surrendering personal responsibility and critical thinking to external moral systems like religions or ideologies.

Breaking Free From Inherited Beliefs

When I was 17, I attended a “Christ and Others Retreat” (COR) as a support volunteer. This was my sixth time participating in the intensive weekend-long spiritual experience, designed to deepen faith through communal prayer, emotional exchanges, and carefully crafted exercises that elevated dopamine levels in a way similar to ecstasy.

Looking back, it felt like brainwashing.

At the time, I was grappling with my Catholic beliefs, especially as I became more aware of my sexuality.

In confession, I cautiously sought guidance, speaking indirectly about my struggles by mentioning my cousin who had recently left the priesthood due to a nervous breakdown. Shockingly, instead of offering compassion, the priest criticized and judged my cousin.

That moment shattered something within me. I couldn’t reconcile my faith with such blatant condemnation. The priest’s reaction forced me to critically analyze what I’d been taught to believe.

By the end of the retreat, I realized I could no longer adhere to a doctrine that suppressed my authenticity and freedom.

A year later, I came out to my friend Susan. I was supposed to take her to the high school prom, but I couldn’t do that in good conscience without being honest. Her unconditional acceptance was a turning point. Without realizing it, she was the first person to help me truly accept myself.

Self-Acceptance as the Foundation of Leadership

Self-acceptance is a form of love and understanding of oneself.

When I struggled with my religious faith, I didn’t know who I was. I felt uncertain, unsafe, and as though something intrinsic to my being was wrong because my religion told me so. What was natural and unchangeable within me was labeled sinful, disgusting, and punishable.

This is the danger of rigid moral systems: they suppress natural human expression.

The more dogmatic and restrictive a moral system, the more it is dehumanizing.

“A truly good person is not self-conscious about goodness.” (1)

When rigid norms dictate who you’re allowed to be and how you’re allowed to feel, they deny free and authentic self-expression. For me, breaking free of those beliefs was the first step toward accepting myself and becoming more understanding of others.

When leaders fail to examine their beliefs, they risk imposing those biases on others.

True leadership begins with understanding and accepting oneself.

It’s only through self-acceptance that we can create environments where everyone feels valued and respected.

How Does This Affect Leadership?

Leadership is inherently relational. It’s about how you engage with and inspire others—without seeking control. Unexamined biases can cloud your judgment and alienate those you seek to support.

When you take the time to critically examine your values and beliefs, you foster curiosity, empathy, and respect for others.

Consider this: if you replace or dissolve a long-held belief, how do you know the new belief is true?

The most important question we can ask ourselves is, “How do I know if this is true?” If your answer is, “I don’t know,” that uncertainty is a powerful tool. It allows you to recognize other people’s beliefs for what they are: perspectives shaped by their experiences, environments, and upbringing.

Recognizing the fragile nature of truth opens the door to more profound understanding.

It reminds us that what we hold to be true is often shaped by perception and agreement that varies between peoples, countries, and cultures.

As leaders, this awareness creates space for collaboration, mutual respect, and transformative growth. This isn’t necessarily easy work, but it is work inspired by respect for human dignity.

Leadership isn’t just about guiding others; it’s about continual self-reflection and growth.

Start by questioning your values and beliefs.

Ask yourself, “How do I know this is true?” Recognize that your truth is one of many.

This humility and curiosity will make you a better leader and help you create environments where diverse perspectives can flourish.

Be well 🙏

Are you ready to make a difference by supporting a common humanity of dignity and equity?

Join my free Facebook community of other human-hearted change-makers, leaders, and social entrepreneurs like you who are dedicated to bringing their creative, change-making ideas to life to find their message and make a meaningful difference in the world.

In the tribe, we cultivate dialogue, curiosity, and critical thinking to practice and empower human-heartedness leadership—even when it feels challenging.

(1) Michael LaTorra, “A Warrior Blends with Life.” (Ch. 38)