The follow is a meditative, flow-of-consciousness writing that I did this morning as part of my morning journal practice.
To Live OUT the Best of Who You Are, you begin witn an investigation into your queer identity to un-closet the stories of who you are.
Once you begin to see the plot lines of your unique story, you can decide which ones have served you, which ones you can let go of, and how to plot the next chapter of your life.
It starts with your words.
The best way to “know thyself” is to journal — by hand. This is about the connection between psyche and physical expression. When you write by hand, you impress upon your brain the experience.
To journal for self-awareness and personal growth is to dive into the depths of who you are and to discover your essence through your own words.
Deep journalling is not about how you slept the night before, or who you slept with. It’s about divining your purpose, your truth, your sense of self in the now.
Journalling is the most spiritual experience I know of.
A self examined life is anything but status quo.
Deep journaling shifts away from rules and dogma, forcing you to look inward and decide if you’re doing the right thing, to question your actions and motives.
Going deep forces you to see you for who you really are.
Not through the eyes of others, not as a reflection of what others expect of you, but of you looking inward towards what only you can see — your true self.
This is the truth of who you are that no one else has access to.
You might not even be aware of that part of yourself. You may have never fallen that deep into the well of your self-awareness.
A well is a perfect metaphor for self exploration.
It can be dark and unexplored, frightening and isolating, exciting and surprising — especially if you’ve never looked, or only ever casually glanced from the safety of the surface.
Going deep within is risky, but its not abandonment.
You divine your depths with a safety line — a pen and notebook.
Self-reflection is not about depth.
It’s only observing what’s currently bubbling to the surface, rippling across the mirror that both absorbs and reflects your surrounding environment.
Choosing to go deep — to divine who you are — is a conscious exploration, an acceptable risk of the possibility of temporary loss of direction, or of losing one’s bearings dependent on grounded tradition and surface planning.
Your investigation into the caves and crevices of your well of history — your psyche — represent a tether to who you were, and reaching the foundation of what shaped you.
This tether allows you to explore, yet return to safety.
With each deeper dive you seek to retrace past steps.
You might discover something new, or find yourself lost in the awareness of a story that has been hidden from the light.
But the depth of time and locked memories have not diminished your forgotten story’s potency — the reality of your experience illuminates your awareness when displayed on your psychic projector.
The truth of your memories are not physically measured.
No embellishments are required to make yourself look or feel better in the projection of your past experience, if that is the truth you seek.
What do you do with what you discover?
What matters is what you now do with what you have learned — what you have re-learned and un-forgotten about who you are.
In your journalling will be the clues about your purpose, your calling, your mission, your passions, and the way in which you’ve seen and see the world.
Those are the many pieces of the puzzle that make up the landscape of who you are.
You get to choose what to do with the pieces that shape your identity.
Looking back and diving deep are necessary risks required to move forward.
There is no physical key that will open the treasure of your greatest gifts.
There are only your memory clues, manifested as patterns of desire, states of being, and past actions.
It is in this private moment of “journalistic” review that you make the choices to be who you believe you are meant to be.
And whenever you feel off course, uncertain, or lost you can dip into the well of self-awareness with with fountain pen and ink. Divine your own truth and Th-Ink Queerly.
Photo by Tom Sodoge on Unsplash