Who Are You Already?
Would you call yourself a deep thinker, someone who leads a deeply self-examined life? Perhaps you are a writer, an academic, a social justice entrepreneur, or working in a leadership role to better humanity. You are someone who wants to make the world a better place, one that is more welcoming of diversity and LGBTQ acceptance and equality.
People compliment you on your intellect. You’re probably an introvert, a life-long learner, highly intuitive, analytical, and a keen observer of the world. You’re a truth-seeker and you tell it like it is (which sometimes gets you into trouble). You enjoy coming up with elegant solutions that solve problems. Small-talk is anathema to you; you prefer a thought-provoking conversation with one person over meeting 10 random strangers at a party.
When things don’t go your way you feel like something must be wrong with you. You get quiet and shut yourself off from the world. You become a perfectionist, thinking you can control every detail including external expectations and other people. You doubt yourself and become defensive when you don’t feel respected for what you believe to be true, or validated for your perspective. Try as you might, you cannot hide how you are feeling and you wear your emotions on your sleeve.
If you’re like me, you want to create something that will make the world a better place.
You want to use your difference, your unique insights, to make a difference.
Are you asking yourself questions like, “What now?”, or, “Is that all there is?” Are you in a job or a career that has taken you to where you thought you wanted to go professionally and financially, but now you only feel boredom and dissatisfaction? If you answered yes, that’s wonderful because now you can find out what’s missing.
What I’ve discovered over the years, is that many of my clients lacked an understanding of their mission or life purpose. They weren’t aware of their emotional drivers, which when actively exercised make you feel like you are doing the right thing. Other missing factors that play a supporting role are knowing your core values and creative genius, doing the sort of work you are best at and will give you a sense of well-being. Without that combination of factors, you will feel a sense of dissatisfaction in life.
If you are missing any or all of the above, you’ll most likely remain unmotivated, de-energized, and uncertain about what to do next to feel like you are making a difference.
When you know yourself, you can use your creative genius to manifest the changes you want to see in the world.
When you know how and which thoughts are holding you back, you can change your way of thinking to more efficiently accomplish your goals. This is the core of my coaching philosophy. Our emotions are the ultimate decider of our behaviours, habits, and choices – good or bad. Words shape our reality, thus it is important to choose our words with care to say what we mean to manifest what we want.
“Unless you accept yourself, you can’t let go of yourself.”Tao Te Ching (Translation: Stephen Mitchell)
How I Coach
When we start our coaching work together we will establish a set of pillars that support my core coaching philosophy of, “know thyself”. The pillars are designed to support effective self-actualization, personal well-being, and to help you thrive in life. Like an ancient Greek temple, if one of the pillars is neglected, the roof is weakened and may collapse. The pillars we will empower are:
- Your Self-Examination: Knowing yourself is not a passive description or a narrative of your life. True self-awareness is an act of truth and personal responsibility to be your most authentic self, and to share that gift of self-actualization with the world.
- Your Emotional Driver: This is the fire that feeds your motivation and drives your purpose. Your emotional driver is what validates who you are and is the best example of knowing yourself.
- Your Core Values: When you don’t know your values, you have no compass to stay on track, no way to “evaluate” what’s good or bad for your life. These values represent what’s most meaningful, joyful, and important to accomplishing your purpose.
- Your Purpose in Life: Your purpose or mission may feel like what you are called to do, pulling you towards the future, but always in the present moment working on what you want to accomplish. Your purpose informs your goals, which impact your core values and is intimately connected to your emotional driver.
- Your Creative Genius: This is your gift, your magic, your superpower, your master skill. Most other people see this in you before you do, simply because you are too absorbed in this part of who you are to see it. When you “exercise your genius” you might feel like you are “home”.
Regular Practices Support your Well-Being and ability to Thrive
My coaching practices are exercises designed to help you thrive in all areas of your life. These practices support your transformation, which in coaching is about identity transformation, or becoming/realizing who you truly are.
The practices are not a “must-do” list that you have to follow, rather, they are options to be selected and practiced where appropriate and most needed. The practices may be as innocuous as regular exercise or meditation, or more specific systems or structure around planning, communication, or relationships.
“Power is the ability to achieve purpose and affect change.”Martin Luther King Jr.
Helping You Use Your Difference to Make a Difference
As LGBTQ people we have unique and vital insights to teach others. We are different from our straight counterparts. Hence the word, “Queer” meaning different or odd, as in not part of the status quo. I am fascinated by the qualities that make up what I call, “The Way of Queer Leadership”, the characteristics that I believe make LGBTQ people a vital and creative part of society.
Our work as a collective of queer thinkers is to embrace, demonstrate, and advocate a humanitarian leadership of belonging. As queer people, we can lead from the margins to unite humanity, to reduce the divisiveness between people with courage, visibility, and collaboration.
There are currently 3 ways of working with me:
- Unlimited Coaching
- Structured Coaching
- Queer Creative’s Coaching Mastermind Group
The Unlimited Coaching Package
With this 5-month commitment, we will work together as much as you need to manifest the changes or outcomes you want. We will structure our initial calls around establishing the core principles and any supporting practices unique to you and your needs. After that, a regular coaching call structure will help keep you on track, with as many calls or emails as needed in-between.
My coaching work is not based on the clock, rather it’s based on the work we do together. Think of coaching as an experience of abundance, a container in which you can let go of time and self-consciousness to see, hear, and feel what are your own solutions to your challenges, that you have been otherwise too preoccupied to see.
Our work together is based on your desire to accomplish an outcome. You might need to speak with me for 20 minutes to gain clarity between our regular calls, or you might have a brilliant idea or feel stuck and need to speak with me right away. Unlimited coaching gives you the freedom to accomplish your goals more quickly by getting clarity and self-direction more often so that you can get back to creating and moving forward. This commitment is especially useful if you are about to start or already at work on a project that requires a significant time and energy commitment to complete.
The Structured Coaching Package
With the structured coaching package, we will meet for a regular coaching call twice every month over a 5-month period. We will structure our initial calls around establishing the core principles and any supporting practices unique to you and your needs. After that, our twice-monthly coaching calls will help you to get clarity about what’s most important and how to maximize your personal efficiency to manifest the changes or outcomes you want to accomplish and to thrive. Email support is provided in-between calls in a structured manner to be discussed.
Queer Creatives Coaching Mastermind Group
This small-group mastermind (four participants) is unique in format compared to my individual “Structured” and “Unlimited” coaching options above. These are not private coaching sessions, instead, the mastermind group builds upon like-minds working together for a more impactful outcome. Think of this as a hybrid between a traditional mastermind format and coaching, whereas I will facilitate the sessions as your group coach to manage the quality of support, feedback, communication, and problem-solving.
The current format for the mastermind group requires a 3-month commitment of four individuals who are doing creative work. We will meet every week for a one-hour group coaching session. Each session is structured to provide efficient use of time, with one member per week receiving “full consideration” of the group’s attention to help them solve a pressing problem with their creative endeavour. Sessions will be interactive, requiring preparation in advance (reviewing any documents for the member receiving full consideration that week), as well as the active participation of each member.
“We learn as much or more by intuition as by tuition. If we can learn to mine our own experience – detaching from and reflecting on the events of our lives – we will surely find nuggest of wisdom, life lessons more precious than gold.”Laurence G. Boldt, The Tao of Abundance