What’s holding you back from L
iving OUT your true purpose?
For some reason you’re stuck. You might feel like you’re waiting for something, and not sure what it is. You’ve had success in the past so that’s not the issue.
You wonder if it’s something deeper, perhaps your sense of worth, or how you feel like you’ve never quite fit in. Do you feel like an impostor? You know you have talent, skills, and the mindset to accomplish whatever you set out to do, but when you look back at your life you now feel like something is missing.
While my coaching is not limited to working with gay men, I certainly have an affinity and an understanding of feeling like the other, the imposter, and having lived the experience of “coming out”. As gay men, we espouse many unique characteristics or gifts that we can teach others to have a positive impact in the world. If that intrigues you, keep reading.
What’s your #1 struggle and why do you need to solve it?
You are seeking insight into why and what you are missing or struggling with. It’s time for a proverbial jump-start, something to help you to clearly define what it is you want, and who you need to be to get there.
I reached out to Darren recognizing that how I’ve been operating no longer works for me and who I want to be in my life.
Enter Darren: an incredibly gracious, wise, and generous mentor and coach. My time spent working with him has been fundamentally transformative, and he has offered me insights I can apply practically to my life, right here, right now – not just theoretically. Our work together uncovered where I have been deluding myself, where I have been exceedingly hard on myself, and where I’ve been resisting acceptance of what is.
Holding the space for me, suggesting reframes of narratives I’ve been telling myself, illuminating more actionable ways I can make and reach my goals are just some of the topics we’ve covered. The amount of time, energy, and attention he’s offered me, even after a session, reflects the heart and passion he has for his work and for being of service.
I am exceedingly grateful to Darren for infusing my life with a new-found hope and excitement and for all he offers to our community!
How I can help.
As your coach, my process is that of an outsider looking in, taking a 10,000-foot view. Coaching provides observation through distance. I must listen deeply to what you say, what you don’t say, and how you say things. My guidance comes from what you share with me, and I take what you tell me as the information needed to help you make your own best decisions. Our work together is premised on helping you get what you want efficiently and effectively.
Coaching is like working with a private guide, exploring the uncharted territories of who you are and where you are going. My role is to help you see possibilities, to recognize when you are wearing blinders, to offer suggestions based on what you bring to the conversation, and discuss steps you might take to navigate the best direction forward.
Darren’s life experiences have truly made him an example of overcoming hard situations and made him an exceptionally unique coach, as he can relate to individuals on so many levels.
His humanity and passion are the most beautiful qualities that show when you speak to him. All you have to do is read his writings and listen to him and you will know what I’m talking about.
Darren has a gift of being able to deduce and understand situations and get a person to talk without reservation. He asks the right questions and is a master at initiating thought-provoking conversation.
He has kept me grounded, focused, and positive. People around me have noticed the impact as I have become more self-aware and improved my confidence to get to the next level with his help and support.
What outstanding coaching is not.
Coaching is not about me telling you what to do, or what you should do. Any form of shaming, bullying, or manipulation is unacceptable (sadly I’ve experienced this with a former coach).
Coaching is not advice. Nor is it external validation, or motivation – internal qualities that are strengthened when you know your true purpose, your core values, and what you want to accomplish that will help others. Helping you shine a light on those powerful, personal characteristics is one of the gifts that I bring to our work.
The gift of being coached is in discovering how much you already know. We are too close to our challenges and problems, too emotionally invested to the point that we can’t see the best options before us – just like you can’t see the forest through the trees.
Outstanding coaching is like mining for precious minerals. The real gold is found in the work that you do, your commitment to putting in the energy and effort to uncover what’s possible, and the strategies you employ to live out the best of who you are.
You encouraged me to remember why I was doing this work and to focus on that. The realization that my attitude was as important to reaching and sustaining my goals as the coaching itself was revolutionary.
Whenever I’m discouraged by a bad week you’d mention where I’ve come from and how much progress I’ve already made. You have confidence that I’ll succeed and that confidence is infectious. I’d see how you’d adapt to find ways to explain new habits, and to get into my head to figure out what was holding me back.
Living OUT Leadership Coaching for Gay Men
If you want to make a bold move, like change careers, start a business, or create something you’ve never done before – which may seem like an impossible goal – you’ve come to the right place.
I’m here to help you identify your obstacles to personal success, how to eliminate distractions, control information overload, and navigate your way to clarity and taking “right actions”. We will work together to create practices and habits that support your well-being to remain energized, motivated, and focused.
We will work together to create practices and habits that support your well-being to remain energized, motivated, and focused. Once you have clarity on what you want, and why you want it, then we can create a structured, systematic plan that’s in alignment with your core values and goals – one that facilitates the greatest ease of engagement and personal productivity to successfully manifest your dreams.