Sex Panic! And No, I Will Not Think of the Children! LOP061

The expression of human sexuality, and the freedom to have sex with whomever we desire, was a defining quality in the early gay-rights movement, pre-AIDS. How things have changed, and yet, how some things have become worse. Where did this fear of sex start and what is “Sex Panic”? In the queer community, Sex Panic!, […]

The Cute Little Joys My Gay Boyfriend Brings – LOP060

Happy Valentine’s Day, 2019! My boyfriend, my partner, my lover, brings me joy every day. Moments of joy is what keeps our love alive, strong, and enduring. It’s not about how much money either of us makes. It’s not about how often we have sex. And it’s not about how he looks. “Love is about […]

The Reluctance to Lead as Out Gay Men: Embracing Gay Spirit – LOP058

Living OUT Leadership for Gay Men “Gay spirit speaks to the vitality that gay men possess, which is palpable but defies easy description.” Raymond Rigoglioso I believe that gay men have a unique opportunity to openly embrace their unique characteristics – in particular, their gay spirt – to bring a balanced, empathetic approach to leadership, […]

Do Actions Speak Louder Than Words? – LOP057

What we think is what we intend When we speak our ideas and intentions, our words initiate action, whether that be our own, or the inspiration for others to act. To answer the question above, what I see happening in the world today is that, Words ARE speaking louder than actions. The actions of hatred […]

The Hateful Prejudice and Elitism that is Jordan Peterson – LOP056

One of the promises made by the current Ontario PC government was that they would repeal the 2015 Ontario sex-ed curriculum installed by the former Liberal government if they won the election. They repealed the curriculum within months of winning the election in 2018 and temporarily replaced it with the 1998 curriculum. In August a […]

How to Communicate Better on Gay Dating Apps – LOP055

In the last episode I waxed nostalgic about, The Good Old Days of Meeting Men for Sex at Gay Bars – LOP054. Today’s episode picks up from where I left off, talking about the different challenges in communicating with someone on a dating app versus face-to-face in person. More and more I hear people complain […]

Authentic Masculinity Is The Best A Man Can Get – LOP052

Praise for Gillette’s #MeToo ad on ‘toxic masculinity’ What is the opposite of toxic masculinity? I would suggest it is what Ray Rigoglioso refers to as “authentic masculinity” in his book, Gay Men and The New Way Forward, which is a balancing intelligence of the masculine and feminine energies or characteristics in gay men – but […]

Why We Need to Engage Critics and Defuse Outrage – LOP051

Dealing with criticism versus personal attack When someone responds with a criticism or attack on my articles or podcast, that’s often a good sign. It means I’m pushing buttons and triggers. Often the critic’s outrage is something they needs help with, but they are dealing with their challenge in a negative way. Other times they […]

Gay Men, Resilience, and Our Chosen Family – LOP050

It’s Story Time… It was 1999 and I had recently moved to Toronto. The day after I broke up with my boyfriend, my former ex from Ottawa moved in with us. This would have made the perfect backstory for a gay version of 80s sitcom, “Three’s Company”. Only this time, two exes become friends after […]