The Reluctance to Lead as Out Gay Men: Embracing Gay Spirit – LOP058

Living OUT Leadership for Gay Men “Gay spirit speaks to the vitality that gay men possess, which is palpable but defies easy description.” Raymond Rigoglioso I believe that gay men have a unique opportunity to openly embrace their unique characteristics – in particular, their gay spirt – to bring a balanced, empathetic approach to leadership, […]

How My Parents Influenced My Gay Male Identity – LOP040

Our earliest influences that form who we become as adults start with our parents. While I am certainly not saying that my parents made me gay; how I was raised absolutely influenced my identity as a gay male. We looked up to our parents as children. We believed everything they told us to be true. […]

Forgiveness and Acceptance of Internalized Homophobia – LOP039

Gay men can lead others in a new model of forgiveness through their own healing of gay shame and understanding of homophobia. We can evolve as men who understand and embrace the dichotomy of the masculine and feminine energies. As gay men we struggled with forgiveness when we first came out. We had to learn to […]

From Sissy Boys to Straight-Acting Gay Men

Forgiveness and Self-Acceptance Starts with Understanding Our Gay Shame. Forgiveness allows you to live in the now, to have the self-worth to be able to let go of your past and all the transgressions you may have suffered – but not to condone or forget the actions of others. Gay men can lead humanity with […]

Is Forgiveness of Homophobia a Gay Male Gift? LOP030

In this episode, I speak about the challenge for gay men to forgive homophobia in their lives – be it from individuals, family, and society at large. The topic for the episode was inspired by a discussion of models of forgiveness in Raymond L. Rigolisoso’s ground-breaking book, “Gay Men and The New Way Forward” and from […]

Have You Left The Best Parts Of You In The Closet?

There are two examples from my life when I was living fully out, gay and proud, and expressing who I was. And then I screwed it up! I guess within the limitations of the status quo I came out “too much and too far.” The outside influence and opinions of other people forced parts of […]

I Knew I Was Gay When I Was Five Years Old

For as long as I can remember I’ve always known, but for the longest time it wasn’t a feeling of pride. It was a combination of fear, guilt, shame, unrequited desire, silence, isolation, and otherness. I was five or six years old when I went to a girl’s house to play. I don’t remember if […]

What Does “Living OUT the Best of Me” Feel Like?

As a gay man, what would it mean to live out the best of you? For me it’s about understanding if I’ve left the best parts of me in the closet, and which of those parts I want to bring out and enjoy living. Let me give you an example from my own life. When I was […]