Reinvent Yourself: I Broke Up With Him Yesterday And Now I’m Free


I had to finally let him go. It wasn’t sudden or unexpected. Our relationship has been breaking down for some time. It started last July and the distance grew greater between us with every passing week. I was on to someone new. I had my excitement back. It was like my mojo had been re-energized. It had nothing to do with disrespect, or...

Do You Know Your Passion And How To Live It?


There have been many times in my life when I knew what I wanted, without doubt or hesitation.
Looking back, those moments seem absolutely glorious.

When I was studying German language and linguistics (1988–1993) I knew I was on the right path. The end goal was to complete my Master’s Thesis, and then do my PhD in the United States.

How Does It Feel When You’re Living Your Calling?


Over the last two months I’ve had very little sense of time. I’ve been focused on writing every day. This has led to increased learning, personal growth, and literally transforming before my own eyes. What I’ve realized is that I’ve created something that’s allowing me to be my most authentic, truthful self. I’ve created an outlet for my...

Celebrate When You Feel Stuck In Life: It Only Means One Thing


Think of being stuck in life like being stalled in an elevator. You pressed the button for your desired floor/destination. Now you stand and wait. There is no other option. Without warning, the elevator comes to a complete stop between floors. The battery in your cell phone is dead. You can’t do anything about the elevator, except to use the...

Why Is It So Hard To Be Authentic?


Being authentic in a status quo world is easier said than done. Why is this such a big deal, to be authentic, and what does it mean? Here’s the Oxford dictionary definition of authentic, “of undisputed origin and not a copy; genuine.“ The etymology of authentic is from the late Latin, authenticus, meaning ‘principal, genuine.’ Being authentic...

Coming out: The other side of self-acceptance


My Dirty Gay Secret:

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What Do You Want To Do Differently In 2018 As A Gay Man?


It’s December 27, 2017. Just a few days away from people making their New Year’s resolutions. You’ve probably seen articles like these showing up on Facebook and Twitter: How to set goals for 2018. Use this process to make a killing in 2018. You shouldn’t be planning for 2018, you should be planning for 2019 and 10 years out. Follow this 90 day...

When You Discover Your Purpose But Can’t Do Anything About It


Have you ever gone left (or right) instead of forward? Have you looked back at the impressions of your past and wondered how you got off track, or why you didn’t succeed? Have you felt you knew your life purpose, but for all your clarity, you had no idea how to live into that mission? This happened to me. A year ago, today, I discovered my...

Why I’m Not Good Enough: My Dirty Gay Secret


There’s a lot of gay shame that runs as an undercurrent in my life. This morning I watched a video by coach Dax Moy. He was talking about the difference between guilt and shame. Guilt is how you feel about what you did or didn’t do. Shame is how you feel about who you are or who you are not. A light clicked on, illuminating something that’s been a...

My Reasons For (Not) Working With Gay Men


“First I was afraid, I was petrified…” ~ Gloria Gaynor Last week I had a conversation with a coach who helped me get clear on who I work with. Essentially she helped me come out. Again. “Why don’t you work with gay men, Darren?” This question has come up with a few coaches I’ve worked with on my business over the years. For some reason...

Darren is a leadership coach in Toronto, Canada who helps his clients to connect and embrace their uniqueness and freely create the life they want. He writes and podcasts regularly about Queer Leadership.