There Is No Space Between Us In The Gap – LOP053

Today’s episode takes the form of a meditative thought experiment. An awareness came through me this morning while moving in my fitness routine. My mind was open to the subconscious drip of what I had experienced and witnessed over the weekend. I had been contemplating – without attachment – how to express the beginning of […]

Authentic Masculinity Is The Best A Man Can Get – LOP052

Praise for Gillette’s #MeToo ad on ‘toxic masculinity’ What is the opposite of toxic masculinity? I would suggest it is what Ray Rigoglioso refers to as “authentic masculinity” in his book, Gay Men and The New Way Forward, which is a balancing intelligence of the masculine and feminine energies or characteristics in gay men – but […]

Why We Need to Engage Critics and Defuse Outrage – LOP051

Dealing with criticism versus personal attack When someone responds with a criticism or attack on my articles or podcast, that’s often a good sign. It means I’m pushing buttons and triggers. Often the critic’s outrage is something they needs help with, but they are dealing with their challenge in a negative way. Other times they […]

Gay Men, Resilience, and Our Chosen Family – LOP050

It’s Story Time… It was 1999 and I had recently moved to Toronto. The day after I broke up with my boyfriend, my former ex from Ottawa moved in with us. This would have made the perfect backstory for a gay version of 80s sitcom, “Three’s Company”. Only this time, two exes become friends after […]

How to Love Your Body as a Gay Man – LOP049

Think Differently with Healthier Thoughts Many gay men, myself included, have at some point tried to improve their physical appearance to attract other men. They have felt that, in order to be accepted, they needed to change their body to fit certain norms and the expectations of others. On one level there’s nothing wrong with […]

Ray Rigoglioso, Gay Man of Wisdom – LOP048

Raymond L. Rigoglioso is the founder and executive director of Gay Men of Wisdom and author of Gay Men and The New Way Forward. Through his book, Ray has synthesized the body of literature that explores gay men’s nature and purpose and created a framework describing gay men’s 14 distinct gifts. I’ve spoken about a […]

Words That Hurt: What You Say Matters – LOP047

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” The intention behind words matters. How a word is used will affect the receiver in communication. Words can lift people up, but they can also hurt when they are intended to be prejudiced, demeaning, or hateful. What about taking a word at […]

If Fear Is the Mind Killer What Is Its Opposite? LOP046

The fewer fears we have the more open-minded and accepting we are of possibilities and variations in all aspects of life and humanity. When we are afraid of the wrath of an imaginary being in the sky, we will be fearful of anything we are told is unacceptable, against god, or an action that will […]

How to Discover Your True Purpose in Life – LOP044

Over the last few episodes of the Living OUT Podcast I’ve been discussing the unique gifts that gay men bring to the world. During this process I’ve discovered more about my true purpose – not in the sense that I didn’t know what it was, but as we evolve and learn more about who we […]