This is a place for people to discover how Live OUT the best of who they are.

If you’ve left the best parts of you in the closet (for whatever reason), if you’re feeling stuck or held back by your problems or challenges, or if you’re seeking clarity on how to accomplish your mission in life, then you’ve come to the right place.

As you read the blog and listen to the Living OUT Podcast you’ll discover strategies and tools designed to help you to ADD to Your Life. Knowing how you got to where you are now in life is just as important as the steps you take in the present moment to design your life and accomplish your dreams.

Hi, I’m Darren Stehle (pronounced “steel”).

Darren and Christiaan
Me (on the right) and Christiaan.
No matter how out I am, I always carry a bit of the closet around with me.

Being gay is not all that I am, but for most of my life I’ve struggled to different degrees with being a fully out, completely self-accepting gay man. The closet is a powerful container and I was trapped inside until I came out when I was 18. The truth is that we never stop coming out – it’s a life-long process.

We are conditioned as gay men to fit in, to act normal, and to be just like everyone else. That affects how we perceive the world and how we feel about ourselves.

The problem with trying to fit in is that that we will have to lock away parts of who we are – our mannerisms, character traits, things we like to talk about, etc. Holding parts of yourself back is not living out the best of who you are.

My background is as diverse as it is queer.

After high school I participated in a youth volunteer program, backpacked across Europe for four month, studied chef training for a year, and then worked on a Master’s of German language and linguistics.

I worked for Pink Triangle Press for ten years, managing their gay men’s tele-personals system (long before dating apps existed). Then I transitioned into health and fitness coaching for over 15 years, before coming to what I do now…

As a Life Coach I help people live out the best of who they are, to create a life that matters, and to use their gifts to make the world a better place. 

I’m the creator of the ADD Coaching Methodology – a systematic process to Assess, Dream, and Live by Design.

I live in Toronto, Canada, with my partner, Christiaan. 

You can subscribe to my show, The Living OUT Podcast, follow my Medium publication, Th-Ink Queerly, and get weekly updates from me by subscribing to my newsletter: