Is Forgiveness of Homophobia a Gay Male Gift? LOP030

In this episode I speak about the challenge for gay men to forgive homophobia in their lives – be it from individuals, family, and society at large. The topic for the episode was inspired by a discussion of models of forgiveness in Raymond L. Rigolisoso’s ground-breaking book, “Gay Men and The New Way Forward” and from […]

Ask Better Questions To Get What You Need – LOP010

This episode was inspired by a recent post on my publication, Th-Ink Queerly about one person’s coming out process, and specifically her fears. I found it interesting because her article became a long list of fears that could keep her forever trapped in a state of low self-worth and limited growth, unless she finds a way […]

How Can We Be Exceptional Leaders? LOP005

Setting a standard of leadership starts with self-awareness One of the many test of leadership is seen when the leader must make difficult decisions that affect other people. True leadership is borne when others look to you for guidance. They might want to follow you, mimic you, or stand with you for what you believe […]

Pride: Party, Protest, Or Both? – LOP004

Pride will always be political so long as it continues to exist. Pride, as a celebration – because it is celebrated – is a priori political because of its origins. Even to those to whom Pride only seems a big party, the nature and existence of Pride is built upon the foundations of a political […]

You’re Gay, Out, and Successful – Is That All There Is?

The trappings of normality in the straight world come with a cost. Fitting in requires an investment of false energy (you not expressing who you are). Do you have the things everyone else does, like a house, a car, 3–4 weeks of vacation per year, marriage, children, etc.? It’s easy to get lost in your […]

Do You Know Your Passion And How To Live It?

There have been many times in my life when I knew what I wanted, without doubt or hesitation. Looking back, those moments seem absolutely glorious. Watch: When I was studying German language and linguistics (1988–1993) I knew I was on the right path. The end goal was to complete my Master’s Thesis, and then do […]

My Reasons For (Not) Working With Gay Men

“First I was afraid, I was petrified…” ~ Gloria Gaynor Last week I had a conversation with a coach who helped me get clear on who I work with. Essentially she helped me come out. Again. “Why don’t you work with gay men, Darren?” This question has come up with a few coaches I’ve worked with on […]