You’re Gay, Out, and Successful – Is That All There Is?

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The trappings of normality in the straight world come with a cost.

Fitting in requires an investment of false energy (you not expressing who you are). Do you have the things everyone else does, like a house, a car, 3–4 weeks of vacation per year, marriage, children, etc.?

It’s easy to get lost in your career, pursing one achievement after the other. You neglect your health and your partner, unaware you’re still trying to silence the pain of being gay.

There is nothing wrong with having any of those things, like possessions or a successful career. But they can be distractions showing up as external validation. Fitting in, being seen as a success, helps you deal with your gay shame. Your outward achievements help you feel good enough in the eyes of others, but they doesn’t make you feel proud.

Being out and unapologetically fucking PROUD is a huge act of defiance.

Often as a gay man we feel there’s got to be more to life, that something is missing. How do you see your way out of the box if you don’t even realize you’re in one? Continue reading “You’re Gay, Out, and Successful – Is That All There Is?”

My Reasons For (Not) Working With Gay Men

My Reasons For (Not) Working With Gay Men

“First I was afraid, I was petrified…”

~ Gloria Gaynor

Last week I had a conversation with a coach who helped me get clear on who I work with.

Essentially she helped me come out.


“Why don’t you work with gay men, Darren?”

This question has come up with a few coaches I’ve worked with on my business over the years.

For some reason I thought I shouldn’t box myself in.

Continue reading “My Reasons For (Not) Working With Gay Men”