Coaching With Darren

Queer Leadership Is Grounded in Self-Leadership

What Do You Love Doing?

We all have something that we would love to do most of the time, if not all the time.

You might be fortunate enough to be earning a living doing what you love. In fact, that’s how I live my life but there are still things that I love doing that I want (and need) to do more of.

So what is that more of for you? What are you not doing enough of? And what do you think is stopping you or holding you back from doing more of what you love?

I know, at this point you might be thinking, “Why is he asking so many questions right at the start?” And I haven’t even told you about how I coach yet! 🙂

But this is how we begin, with questions, because coaching is not about the coach. My role is to help you get the clarity, focus, and tools you need to establish useful processes and structures, to not only get what you want but to positively transform your life so that you can spend more time doing what you most love. 

How does that sound to you?

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably a deep thinker, someone who leads a self-examined life and is a life-long learner. You’re someone who wants to make the world a better place. You might be a writer, an academic, a social justice entrepreneur, or working in a leadership role. Perhaps you’re working towards one of those fields as your goal.

You’re probably an introvert, highly intuitive, analytical, and a keen observer of the world. You’re a truth-seeker and you tell it like it is (which sometimes gets you into trouble). Small-talk is anathema to you; you prefer a thought-provoking conversation with one person over meeting 10 random strangers at a party.

If the above two paragraphs describe the best of you, what about your dark side, the ‘shadow side’?

When things don’t go your way you feel like something is wrong with you. You get quiet and shut down. You seek perfection, trying to control every detail, including the expectations of others. You doubt yourself and become defensive when you don’t feel respected for what you believe to be true, or validated for your perspective. You can’t hide how you are feeling and you wear your emotions on your sleeve.

“Unless you accept yourself, you can’t let go of yourself.”

Tao Te Ching (Stephen Mitchell)

Do you want to experience more of the ‘best of you’ and do more of what you love?

When you discover what behaviours and thoughts are holding you back, you can change your unconscious programming by practicing new processes and implementing new structures to get what you want. 

One of the principles of my coaching philosophy is that our emotions are the ultimate decider of our behaviours, habits, and choices; be those good or bad. What we feel determines what we think and what we say. If our words shape our reality, it is important to choose our words with care (and awareness) to manifest what we want. The better you feel and the better your thoughts, the easier it will be for you to create within the space of what you most love doing to transform your life and make a difference in the world.

“Power is the ability to achieve purpose and affect change.”

Martin Luther King Jr. 

How I Coach

There’s no right place to start from. When we start our coaching work together, I will need to get to discover more about you, from how you think, what you’ve tried in the past, what’s not working for you, what you want to be doing more of, what you know about yourself in difficult situations, how you take care of yourself, and so on.

Our work together is based on helping you transform your life to get what you want. There are several life areas that we will explore to discover what’s not working for you, why that might be, and what to do about it. For example, we will consider:

  1. Your Self-Awareness: Knowing yourself is not a passive description or a narrative of your life. Self-awareness is an act of truth and personal responsibility to be fully authentic and to share that gift with the world.
  2. Your Emotional Driver: This is the fire that feeds your motivation and drives your purpose, it’s what validates who you are and is the best example of knowing yourself. 
  3. Your Core Values: When you don’t know you stand for you have no compass to follow and no way to evaluate what’s good or bad for your life. Your values represent what’s imperative and meaningful to accomplish your purpose. 
  4. Your Creative Genius: This is your gift and your superpower. When you exercise your genius you might feel like you are at home in your self.
  5. Your Purpose: What are you called to do that pulls you towards the future? Your purpose informs your goals which impact your core values and is intimately connected to your emotional driver. 

“We learn as much or more by intuition as by tuition. If we can learn to mine our own experience — detaching from and reflecting on the events of our lives — we will surely find nuggets of wisdom, life lessons more precious than gold.”

Laurence G. Boldt, The Tao of Abundance

Working with Me

Our work together is based on your desire and curiosity to create lasting transformation and design your ideal life. My work is not based on the clock, rather it’s based on the work we do together. Think of coaching as an experience of abundance, a bubble in which you can let go of time and tasks to explore yourself, and to discover solutions to your challenges and struggles that have been holding you back from living your ideal life.

If you’re curious to find out more about working with me, click the button below to fill out the application form and we can get started.