Coaching With Darren

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Queer Leadership Is Grounded in Self-Leadership

What Do You Love Doing?

What do you love to do most of the time, if not all the time?

What brings to your life the greatest sense of meaning and well-being?

What would your life be like if you could be doing and experiencing more of the things you love?

What do you think is stopping you or holding you back from having that life, that kind of abundance?

You might be thinking, “Why so many questions? He hasn’t even told me about how he coaches!” 

What do you feel compelled to do, out of all that you are, which is the joyful expression of your true nature?

This is how we begin — with questions

A good question provides the possibility of a very good answer. Sometimes that answer can be transformational when it adds something “new” to your awareness. 

With great coaching, the coach seeks to guide the client with active listening and mindful questions. This is always about what the client brings to the session, not what the coach wants to accomplish. The true goal of great coaching is to fully support the client in coming to their own answers. 

There are various skill and knowledge I bring to our coaching sessions — like an understanding of neuroscience and how it can be applied in coaching — to help you get the clarity, focus, processes, and strategies that will help you to finally make a lasting change (personal transform) and spend more time doing what you most love. 

The questions we ask ourselves determine our perspective and world-view within the formation of our answers.

What brought you here? 

If you’re anything like me, you’re probably a deep thinker — someone who leads a self-examined life and is a life-long learner. You’re someone who wants to make the world a better place. You might be a writer, an academic, a social justice entrepreneur, or working in a leadership role — or perhaps you’re working towards one of those fields as your goal.

You’re probably an introvert, highly intuitive, analytical, and a keen observer of the world. You’re a truth-seeker and you tell it like it is (which sometimes gets you into trouble). Small-talk is anathema to you; you prefer a thought-provoking conversation with one person over meeting 10 random strangers at a party.

What about the dark side?

When things don’t go your way you feel like something is wrong with you. You get quiet and shut down. You seek perfection, trying to control every detail —including the expectations of others. You doubt yourself and become defensive when you don’t feel respected for what you believe to be true, or validated for your perspective. You can’t hide how you are feeling and you wear your emotions on your sleeve.

When you discover the behaviours and thoughts that are holding you back, you can implement new practices to get what you want. 

One of the principles of my coaching philosophy is that our emotions are the ultimate decider of our behaviours, habits, and choices — good or bad. 

What we feel determines what we think; what we think determines what we say. If our words shape our reality, it is important to choose our words with care (and awareness) to manifest what we want in life. The better we feel and the better our thoughts, the easier it will be for you to create what you love, transform your life, and make a difference in the world.

Going deep forces you to see you for who you really are. Not through the eyes of others, not as a reflection of what others expect of you, but of you looking inward towards what only you can see — your true self. 

How I Work

When we start our coaching work together, I will need to get to know more about you from how you think, what you’ve tried in the past, what’s not working for you, what you want to be doing more of, what you know about yourself in difficult situations, and how you take care of yourself. If you would like to read feedback from my clients, click here.

Our work together is based on helping you transform your life to get what you want. 

There are many areas of life that we can investigate to find out what’s not working for you, what are the reasons, and what steps you can take to improve your situation. There is no order or set template in deep coaching work, but some of the areas we may dive into include: 

  1. Self-Awareness: Knowing yourself is not a passive description or a narrative of your life. Self-awareness is an act of truth and personal responsibility to be your most authentic and to share that gift with the world.
  2. Emotional Driver: This is the fire that feeds your motivation and drives your purpose — it’s what validates who you are and is the best example of knowing yourself. 
  3. Core Values: When you don’t know your values, you have no compass to stay on track, no way to evaluate what’s good or bad for your life. Your values represent what’s imperative and meaningful to accomplish your purpose. 
  4. Creative Genius: This is your gift and your superpower. When you exercise your genius you might feel like you are at home in your self.
  5. Purpose: What are you called to do that pulls you towards the future? Your purpose informs your goals, which impact your core values and is intimately connected to your emotional driver. 

When you get focus and direction on these significant aspects of your life, many of the things that have been bothering you or holding you back simply dissipate without much effort, and needless distractions are no longer of interest when you have clear strategies to move forward on your terms and towards your own goals. 

Embrace your purpose, your gifts, and strengths and put them to work by taking action in the present moment, not worrying about whether it’s not a right or wrong choice, or fretting about whether you’ll fail. Failure is the simple indication that you’re looking in the wrong place, that you tried and only need try again, perhaps with a different approach or knowledge. 

Your Investment

Our work together is based on your desire, curiosity, and commitment to create lasting transformation and design your ideal life. My work is not based on the clock, rather it’s based on the work we do together that supports your transformation. 

Think of coaching as an experience of abundance, a container in which you can let go of time and worry to explore yourself and to find solutions to the challenges and struggles that have been holding you back from what you want to accomplish.

I don’t offer a “one-size-fits-all” package for private coaching. My initial package is a commitment for 3-months of CAD 2,250. This includes three deep coaching sessions per month to support you with getting absolute clarity and direction so that you can come up with strategies and solutions to create the life you want. Email support is provided in-between sessions in a structured manner to be discussed. After this initial period, we will discuss renewal options specific to your needs.

If you’re curious to find out more about working with me, click the button below to complete a questionnaire and request a complimentary exploration session with me.

Darren is a leadership coach in Toronto, Canada who helps his clients to connect and embrace their uniqueness and freely create the life they want. He writes and podcasts regularly about Queer Leadership.