If Fear Is the Mind Killer What Is Its Opposite?

fear is the mind killer

The fewer fears we have the more open-minded and accepting we are of possibilities and variations in all aspects of life and humanity.

When we are afraid of the wrath of an imaginary being in the sky, we will be fearful of anything we are told is unacceptable, against god, or an action that will deny you entry to heaven.

I have to wonder if radical fundamentalism is one the more extreme forms of the fear of mortality. Believe, follow the rules, become born again, and whatever you do in this life will be forgiven in the afterlife. Ah, no worries, I’m already saved!

When we are afraid of the colour of someone’s skin, different than our own, we might also be afraid of the possibilities and variance of sexuality and gender.

Continue reading “If Fear Is the Mind Killer What Is Its Opposite?”

I Knew I Was Gay When I Was Five Years Old

I knew I was gay

For as long as I can remember I’ve always known, but for the longest time it wasn’t a feeling of pride. It was a combination of fear, guilt, shame, unrequited desire, silence, isolation, and otherness.

I was five or six years old when I went to a girl’s house to play. I don’t remember if she was from school or one of the kids in the neighbourhood. From my little boy’s eyes her house seemed like a mansion. The basement was so large I felt overwhelmed by the number of closed doors I could see. We went into a playroom filled with toys. I remember wanting to play with the dollhouse more than anything. Something about that moment made me self-conscious. Continue reading “I Knew I Was Gay When I Was Five Years Old”

T-Minus 15 Minutes To Lasting Change

four steps to solve your problems

The following is an excerpt from my latest free book, The Four Steps To Solve Your Problems Guide.


You only need a few steps to make lasting, positive changes in your life. These steps are not complicated. The process doesn’t require reading a 300-page book, taking an 5-week online course, or days of getting ready to get ready.

There’s only one catch…

You need to take action, which is the hardest part of change.

To take the “right action” you need to know,

  1. What you want to change, and;
  2. What you are going to do to make that change.

Continue reading “T-Minus 15 Minutes To Lasting Change”

What Does “Living OUT the Best of Me” Feel Like?

Living OUT Membership

As a gay man, what would it mean to live out the best of you?

For me it’s about understanding if I’ve left the best parts of me in the closet, and which of those parts I want to bring out and enjoy living.

Let me give you an example from my own life.

When I was a teenager growing up in the early 80s, I loved watching figure skating, gymnastics, and contemporary dance. I never got to practice any of those athletic activities, but I watched — in silence and in secret. Continue reading “What Does “Living OUT the Best of Me” Feel Like?”

The Freedom of Accepting Who You Are Right Now

“When you drop the struggle with shame and accept life as it is without judgment, you find great freedom on the other side. It is freedom to be who you are, exactly as you are. The only real meaning in life is found in being who you are right now, without apologies.”

~ The Velvet Rage. Allan Downs

This quotation makes me proud to be an out, highly functioning gay man. 🙂

This quotation also reminds me of why it’s so important for me to proclaim my queer identity, and to be the change I want to see in the world.

Th-Ink Queerly is a double entendre times two. Continue reading “The Freedom of Accepting Who You Are Right Now”

Shoving My Queer Agenda in Your Face — Take It!

For as long as I can remember it’s always been a man and a woman.

For as long as I can remember it’s always been about god.

For as long as I can remember it’s always been about fitting in.


I have never had sex with a woman.

I never want to. I have known I was gay since I was five years old, but I didn’t know the words.

I don’t believe in god.

The only thing that might come close is having faith in my potential. Continue reading “Shoving My Queer Agenda in Your Face — Take It!”