What Do You Want To Do Differently In 2018 As A Gay Man?

It’s December 27, 2017. Just a few days away from people making their New Year’s resolutions.

You’ve probably seen articles like these showing up on Facebook and Twitter:

  • How to set goals for 2018.
  • Use this process to make a killing in 2018.
  • You shouldn’t be planning for 2018, you should be planning for 2019 and 10 years out.
  • Follow this 90 day goal setting process to finally achieve your goals.

I’ve written headlines like this in the past. There’s nothing wrong with any of them. The most important thing is to use a process that actually gets you results. However,

What’s the one thing that’s going to make a real, measurable difference in your life?

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Why I’m Not Good Enough: My Dirty Gay Secret

Why I’m Not Good Enough - My Dirty Gay Secret

There’s a lot of gay shame that runs as an undercurrent in my life.

This morning I watched a video by coach Dax Moy. He was talking about the difference between guilt and shame.

  • Guilt is how you feel about what you did or didn’t do.
  • Shame is how you feel about who you are or who you are not.

A light clicked on, illuminating something that’s been a challenge for me all my life.

I have shame around becoming successful.

What? But the success I envision for myself hasn’t happened yet.

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My Reasons For (Not) Working With Gay Men

My Reasons For (Not) Working With Gay Men

“First I was afraid, I was petrified…”

~ Gloria Gaynor

Last week I had a conversation with a coach who helped me get clear on who I work with.

Essentially she helped me come out.


“Why don’t you work with gay men, Darren?”

This question has come up with a few coaches I’ve worked with on my business over the years.

For some reason I thought I shouldn’t box myself in.

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Who Believes in You More Than You Do?

Who Believes in You More Than You Do

The other day I wrote a post on my medium publication, Do You Celebrate or Neglect Your Wins?

The idea for the post came from a journal entry a year ago. I was caught up in the “doing of tasks”, stressed about what was going on in my business, and I totally glossed over a win I had on the day.

I remember the day because of how stressful it was.

I had been in a meeting that was very uncomfortable for everybody involved. The person directing the meeting made some very unsettling statements. I felt like cattle, like a piece of meat required to bring in money to the organization. There was nothing shared about worth or value as a way to strengthen the workplace.

Continue reading “Who Believes in You More Than You Do?”