05.15.13
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Making Fitness Work When You Travel

I recently received an email from a reader of my blog:

 Hi Darren,

I came across your blog and really enjoyed reading it. I am wondering if you’re interested in featuring an article from me on your blog because I recently have been looking into how fitness and eating healthy can specifically benefit frequent travellers and those on vacation. 

Fitness has helped me in particular with dealing with stress and anxiety and I have found that keeping in this routine while traveling is extremely hard and tedious. Exercising should not just happen in the confines of your own home, gym, or neighbourhoods. It should be explored in other areas especially for a frequent traveler who wants to stay in his or her routine. There are some really awesome trends going on right now regarding this topic that I would love to explore.

I really believe an article on this topic would appeal to your readers tremendously. I would love to shoot one over to you so you can review it and possibly share it with your visitors. Let me know what you think. 

Mike

I’ve helped many clients with ways to keep fit while they travel. It can be more difficult to workout as a business traveller as you may be expected to work longer hours, or have limited or no choice in your accommodations. Certainly if you are going on vacation you can make your own choices. But making excuses as to why you ‘can’t train’ are still excuses. It’s still a matter of do you want to workout or not.

Mike has some great ideas on what you can do (from running to in-room exercise). I hope you enjoy his encouraging and inspirational article!

Making Fitness Work When You Travel

Guest Post By Mike Manning

Everyone knows the importance of exercise and physical fitness. Unfortunately, frequent travellers often find it difficult to incorporate healthy habits into their busy schedules away from home.

Those who travel a lot tend to have poorer overall health than those who stick closer to home. Individuals who travel 20 or more days a month also struggle with obesity more than those who travel less than one week each month.

The necessity of travel does not doom you to an unhealthy life. You can easily make your travels more conducive to your health by planning ahead and paying attention to the opportunities for fitness that come your way.

Before leaving for any trip, take the time to prepare. Learn about your destination. If you belong to a health club, find out if your membership will provide access to a gym near your accommodations.

Research accommodations as well. If possible, book a hotel that offers fitness amenities such as in-room fitness videos, a Zen room, a well-equipped fitness centre, running trails and fitness sessions for guests.http://www.healthwriting.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/running.jpg

On a recent trip to Maui I was able to book an incredible hotel just by doing a little research beforehand on a travel reviews site. I was able to scroll through all the hotels in Maui and discover which ones had a 24-hour gym so that I could continue my regularly planned early morning workouts.

Be sure to pack everything you’ll need to get a good workout while away from home. Bring along loose fitting, comfortable clothing and a pair of athletic shoes. Don’t forget a refillable water bottle to help you stay properly hydrated.

If you like, pack portable exercise equipment, such as an exercise band, in order to get a more powerful workout with limited space and time.

On your flight be sure to get a little exercise. Do some stretches and basic in-flight exercises to help alleviate many of the discomforts regularly experienced by travellers. On long flights cycle through shoulder-shrugs, back stretches, knee lifts and ankle rolls about once an hour for maximum relief and effectiveness.

During your stay remain aware of your limitations. You probably won’t get long workouts at the gym when you travel, but you can take advantage of shorter times to get some physical activity. Take the stairs whenever possible rather than riding an elevator or escalator. Use your exercise band to get a quick workout between meetings. Get up a little early in the morning, and go for a short run before breakfast or enjoy a short yoga session in your room. Every little bit of activity will help.

Mike Manning is a fitness and healthy living enthusiast. Learn more at mikemanningmusings.blogspot.com

05.13.13
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Bulk Cook: 08 May 2013

Wednesday is as good a day as any other to cook my meals in bulk for the week. What’s most important is that I do it regularly (weekly) in order to always have prepared. I hate to be hungry and have to wait while I cook a meal.

Knowing I would cook on Wednesday last week, I bought groceries on Tuesday so I could get to the task of cooking early Wednesday morning without any distractions.

Here’s what I cooked for myself that will give me about a week’s worth of food. Note that I also have fruits and other food supplies on hand for meal variety. I may  have to buy more vegetables or salad later in the week since I will usually run out of these items first.

This Week’s Menu

2 pound-bag organic carrots (6-8 servings)

  • Washed, scrubbed, cut in half, and then cut in half lengthwise.
  • Place carrots in a roasting pan with one large white onion, thinly sliced ginger, juice of 1 whole lemon, salt & pepper, 1 tbsp. balsamic vinegar, 1 tbsp. white wine vinegar, 1 tbsp. coconut oil, and approx. ½ cup of filtered water.
  • Cook at 350° F for about 30 minutes on the bottom rack. Turn with a wooden spatula to mix with the liquid every 10 minutes.

4 large sweet potatoes (8 servings)

  • Scrub but don’t peel.
  • Roast in the oven on the bottom rack, on top of a piece of tinfoil so that they won’t drip onto the bottom of the oven.
  • Approx. 1 hour cooking time at 350° F.
  • Remove from oven and let cool on a wire rack for 30-60 min.
  • Store in a container in the fridge. Or you can easily remove the skin and then mash the sweet potatoes with some lemon juice to reduce browning and refrigerate.http://www.thedailygreen.com/cm/thedailygreen/images/XO/sweet-potato-fall-market-lg.jpg

12 thick slices of peameal bacon (3 slices/serving)

  • Cook in the oven on a baking sheet.
  • Approx. 15 minutes cooking time.
  • Delicious to have for breakfast with or without eggs or as a sandwich.

 (The sweet potatoes, carrots and bacon went in the oven at the same time).

2 butterfly, boneless pork chops. (4 servings)

  • Cook in a cast iron pan with 1 cup frozen mango, 1 large yellow bell pepper (coarsely chopped), a few chopped tomatoes, salt & pepper, sesame oil, and some dried oregano.
  • Turn after 15 minutes. Cooking time about 30 min.

(Pork chops went on the top rack of the oven after the bacon was cooked).

3 large seasoned chicken breast (4 servings)

  • Roast in the oven in a cast iron pan. Turn once.
  • Cooking time about 25 minutes.

(Chicken went on the bottom rack after the carrots were cooked).

Pre-seasoned Chicken Breast

Cajun Chicken Breasts

 7 red, yellow and orange bell peppers (7 servings)

  • Wash, cut in half, remove seeds and put facedown on a baking tray covered with a little olive or coconut oil.
  • Cooking time 40 minutes. You can also brown the tops of the peppers by turning the oven onto broil for 5 minutes or less.

(Peppers went on the top rack after the pork was cooked).

Long grain brown rice (approx. 6 servings)

  • 1 cup rice mixed with 1/4 cup organic wild rice and 2 1/2 cups of filtered water. Cook on the stove with a little bit of sesame oil, salt & pepper.
  • Bring to a boil, stir, and reduce temperature to a low-simmer. Stir once more after 10 minutes. Turn off the jet after 30 minutes of cooking. Let the rice sit, covered, for another 30 minutes to completely cook and absorb the remaining water.

(I started the rice on the stove after the carrots, sweet potato and bacon went into the oven).

Cleaning up

Total cooking time was about 75 minutes. Whenever something came out of the over, I put the food into containers, then into the fridge, and washed the dishes. Cleaning dishes and cooking utensils as you go keeps you organized and when everything is cooked, you don’t have a sink-full of dishes to wash.

Lunch the next day!

Lunch the next day!

Filling In The Gaps

Other meals that I will eat in the week include eggs, salads made either with spinach or thinly chopped red cabbage and romaine lettuce (topped with the chicken or pork, served cold and thinly sliced or I’ll eat canned tuna or salmon).

I also have containers of 4% cottage cheese to eat with fruit & nuts, vegetables, or mixed with a couple tablespoons of guacamole and some spicy salsa. Finally, I will usually consume one super health shake per day.

Omnomnom! Now what should I have to eat?!

Eat well to be well.

To learn more about meal planning to optimize your health and fitness,
please check out my new website, www.AllAboutMealPlanning.com.  

© 2013 Darren Stehle. All Rights Reserved.

05.04.13
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How Do I Get Muscles Like That?

One night after playing volleyball, I took off my shirt to change and one of my teammates pointed towards my shoulder and asked, “How do I get muscles like that?”

His question made me think. People will ask about things they want that they see in others, but they have no real desire to take action to get what they want themselves.

Back and shoulder musclesI could’ve answered my teammate in an unforgiving fashion, something like, ‘Do you lift weights? How many days a week do you work out? Do you eat five or more meals per day? Do you know how much protein to eat to build muscle? Do you know how to lift properly? Do you have a long-term strength training program? Do you even know what the muscle is that you’re pointing to is called? Have you ever hired a personal trainer?’ Instead, I answered him in a general way, saying there is no single answer and results comes from many habits practiced over a long period of time.

I get asked questions all the time about health and fitness and how to build a particular muscle group. How often have clients asked me things like, ’I don’t know how to lose weight. How do I eat better?’ Or, like my friend, ‘How do I get muscles like that?’ or, ‘How do I get a six-pack?‘

Most of the time these questions are asked halfheartedly. It’s easy to ask, ’How do I get ripped abs like yours?’ What’s harder to do is to commit to learning about the steps you’ll have to take and the new habits you’ll need to practice to make your goal reality.

It’s easy to admire someone else’s physique, fortune, big car, or huge house and wishing you could get the same results. However, wishing doesn’t get results. The reason many people won’t try to get what they want is their fear of failure.

We are all afraid of failure. For many, myself included, if we’ve failed often in the past it can be daunting to try something new, or to learn a new strategy we know is going to take great effort. The voices go off inside our head, screaming, ‘Will I succeed?’, ‘How hard will it be?’, ‘If I fail, will my friends laugh at me?’ We don’t actively seek pain. Rather, we want what makes us feel good.

There is no magic solution: You need to get clear on why you want your goal, commit to achieving your goal, and plan a strategy to achieve your desire.

I’m not suggesting one day you decide, ’I’m going to lose 30 pounds’ or ’I’m going to exercise four days a week every morning at 6 AM.’ The first one is an end goal and the second is a habit. Both require an action plan.

http://www.healthwriting.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/running.jpg

Let’s use the above example to create an action plan to lose 30 pounds of body fat. How do you accomplish that goal? Losing weight involves a number of habits, including increasing your physical activity level on a daily basis, eating frequent meals throughout the day, eating nutritious and nutrient-dense foods that are low in starchy carbohydrates, etc.

Without preparedness and an action plan your attempts would be futile. You will need to create many new habits over a period of time so that you don’t become overwhelmed. A great place to start is to write out what you need to learn, the new habits you need to implement, and what actions you need to take to accomplish each habit. Attempt one new habit per week; possibly only one new habit every two weeks if the habit is more challenging.

Keep track of your habits and progress by using project planning software, a journal, a calendar, or a spreadsheet to plot out what you need to do over the coming months.

For example, committing to exercise four times per week every morning at 6 AM requires certain logistics, e.g. Where will you be working out? What type of activity will you be doing? How will you prepare the night before? Will you lie out all of your clothes and pack them in your gym bag and will you have food prepared to eat before and after your workout? Will you have a workout partner or a personal trainer who will help you stick to your plan?

In order to eat better you will also need a plan. To save time you will be best served by buying food once or twice a week and preparing as many bulk meals in advance and packing meals in containers and taking them with you to work or reheat throughout the day as necessary.

If you are committed to your goal then the journey is as much about delayed gratification as the thrill and pleasure of achieving that goal. There will be days or weeks when you feel like nothing is changing and you want to give up. This is when you need to look back at all of the individual improvements and new habits you have acquired. Recognize what you have changed and realize that getting what you want is a process that takes time. If you are off track, try to find out why. This may be the time to ask yourself how much you really want this goal. How will you feel when you reach your goal? Is that feeling worth it?

TSVL goldDevelop a system of rewards along the way to celebrate milestones as you get closer to the end goal. Of course you should celebrate the end goal in style! You should also consider something else to achieve when you’re about 80% of the way there. This is when you would start planning and strategizing for a future goal, but not its implementation. There’s an important reason for doing this. When you achieve your goal you experience a short-term elation. However, when the excitement wears off we are left wondering what to do next. Having a new goal ready to implement keeps you on the path of constant improvement.

Change can be difficult because as human beings we like comfort. Getting what we truly desire takes effort. If your desire – your why – is big enough, get in touch with that feeling, see and feel yourself having achieved your goal and record that in your journal to look at whenever you feel that you’re losing focus. Knowing how much you want your goal is half of the winning process!

Be well.

© 2013 Darren Stehle. All Rights Reserved.

Contact me about this article

10.09.12
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Why Do We Fail at Some Goals but Easily Achieve Others?

Recently I had a meeting with a former client to decide if he was going to start training with me again. He had lost 60 pounds training with me over the course of one year in which he trained two times per week, learning about nutrition and meal planning, and submitting a weekly diet log for analysis. He then began training on his own to see if he could maintain working out and eating healthy without coaching. He’s experienced ups and downs in staying consistent and we’ve met occasionally to implement new training programs.

I was going to email him, since I hadn’t seen him in months, and, as the universe often works, I saw him that very same day at the club. I asked how he was doing with his training and weight loss. He laughed and said he was planning to call me. He’d experience a few setbacks and wanted to get back on track.

We met a week later. Many of his friends were encouraging him, saying, ‘But it’s so easy. You should just work out’ and, ‘why don’t you do cardio five days a week? Why can’t you just workout on your own?’ What’s easy for his friends to say and do was not as easy for him.

He made a very astute observation trying to figure out why he couldn’t commit to physical activity on a regular basis. He easily excels in other areas of his life. In his career he could excel, get projects done on time and the work was second nature to him. But when it came to eating properly and being physically active on a regular basis he couldn’t get the same results as easily. These actions were not his ‘normal’, thus he was less inclined to put in the effort because he figured he would just fail, even though he would eat better and feel better when he trained on a regular basis.

My client made a brilliant self-observation. By comparison, I have many areas in my life where I feel challenged. It hadn’t occurred to me that I might not want to start a particular task because I’m afraid it might be too challenging and I will have to work hard to get the results I aspire toward. It’s easier to postpone or procrastinate than to have to do the work.

Therein lies the Catch-22. The hardest things in life are the things we need to face head-on and overcome. What challenges us helps us to grow and become better people? That challenge could be your desire to lose weight and get off blood pressure medications because you’re 50 pounds too heavy, or to put on five pounds of muscle and feel better about how your body looks.

We cannot grow and improve by standing still – an apt metaphor for physical activity. You can think about it and you can plan for it but nothing worthwhile happens until you get yourself to the gym, or put on your running shoes, or get out and play a game of volleyball or football and (as Nike says) ‘Just Do It’.

Be well.

© 2012 Darren Stehle. All Rights Reserved.

09.14.12
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Healthy Long-Term Weight Management

While training one of my clients the other day, I wanted to find out how he was progressing on his own. We meet once a week for training with the understanding he will work out 1-2 more times on his own and perform 2-4 sessions of cardiovascular activity, like running or the elliptical trainer. I wanted to find out about his diet and preparing his meals in bulk.

Without blame or accusation I open a conversation with a client by asking general questions to find out how they’re doing, to see what patterns may emerge over time through conversation.

Toronto International Film Festival logo

Toronto International Film Festival logo (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

He said he wasn’t eating as well this week because he was attending TIFF, The Toronto International Film Festival, and he couldn’t quite bring his meals with him into the theatres. He made decent choices at restaurants and things were going well. His clothes were all fitting more loosely; one of his shirts, which he couldn’t quite button up last year, now fits perfectly.

Working with a client only once per week makes it more difficult for me to find one thing that may be holding him back, or one gem of an idea that may allow him to make positive changes faster. I know he sometimes has good weeks and bad weeks and it’s not that he’s indifferent to improving his health. He’s just as human as you or I and it can be very difficult to change old habits or stop doing the things which make us feel good, but are unhealthy or don’t take us towards our fitness goals.

I suggested he needed to consider a long-term view to better stay on track. He said his weight loss is definitely a result of working out because before he started working with me he wasn’t performing any physical activity. He has seen and felt improvement with changes to how he eats, but staying consistent has proven challenging.

It occurred to me it’s the short-term pleasures that cause most harm. Short-term pleasures feel immediately good. For example, ice cream tastes delicious, but how many of us can eat just a spoonful? I know I can’t. I eat an entire bowl at a sitting. Ice cream is an ephemeral pleasure, but if we enjoy this pleasure too often we’ll gain unwanted weight.

Meal

Meal (Photo credit: nickfarr)

Note: With each taste of ice cream, the experience is so intense, yet fleeting; it’s hard NOT to have another taste. You need another spoonful to prolong the creamy-rich sweetness. One more spoonful. Oh, what the hell, another small bowl won’t hurt me. Like an addiction, the flavour on the taste buds is so overwhelming the brain wants the experience of pleasure to continue. Martin Seligman describes this as the ‘vicious cycle of craving’ in his book, Authentic Happiness. “The emotional pleasure of ice cream is too intense to savour. Rather, it’s a “rapidly repeated indulgence in the same pleasure which does not work.” (105) The problem rests with how the neurons in our brain respond to a stimulus like ice cream. The first taste is always the most intense, the second taste half as good and every other taste thereafter is simply waist-widening.

By contrast, long-term pleasures can be harder to recognize. For example, if you shop for a week’s worth of groceries and cook a week of meals in advance you’ll have food to eat at work and reheat for dinner. This saves a tremendous amount of time, but more importantly you’ll have meals prepared so you don’t have to eat out or purchase something that’s not healthy because you’re over-hungry: If you plan ahead and know what you’re going to eat, and if you plan to eat five healthy meals or snacks per day, you will be planning for the long-term. The results will allow for better control of your weight and body fat, eating healthier food and having more spare time.

At the end of a day of eating well, you may experience contentedness. At the end of a healthy meal, when you feel satisfied (not full and bloated); when you feel positive about your healthy food choices, you are experiencing gratification; you have enacted your personal strengths and virtues to stay true to your diet. You may savour the moment, which, according to Seligman, “is the awareness of pleasure and the deliberate conscious attention to the experience of pleasure.” (107) In this case, the pleasure of eating healthy and feeling no guilt or discomfort at the end of your meal.

Cover of "Authentic Happiness: Using the ...

Cover via Amazon

Preparing and cooking meals for a week doesn’t feel as good as a delicious bowl of ice cream ‘in the moment.’ Meal preparation is delayed gratification. These many small actions over time do, in fact, feel good, but to a very small extent. However, these actions done repeatedly over a longer period of time create a much greater and sustainable, positive effect. These actions have a very low or little ‘feel-good’ component in the moment. If you prepare meals consistently for several weeks you’ll start to feel better. You’ll see improvements in the mirror, your clothes will fit better, people may complement you on your weight-loss, and not to mention a host of other possible benefits.

There is a secondary, long-term benefit to this delayed gratification. If you keep on doing these little long-term good-for-you things (which have minimal ‘feel-good’ effects), like preparing meals in advance, you can effectively change your state for the better. For example, now when you eat ice cream or when you go off of your diet or when you don’t work out, you don’t feel good! It’s not that the ice cream doesn’t taste good, but because you took a long-term view to improving your health, the end result is an improvement in your state of mind, not just your body. Thus, straying from your diet becomes something you no longer want to do.

In closing, there are ephemeral pleasures, which are good for you. Making love is one of those things; laughter another. Knowing the difference between short-term pleasures, which help us or harm us, is the key to happiness and health. Laugh as much as you can. Oh, and enjoy a lot of that other thing I mentioned, too.

Be well.

© 2012 Darren Stehle. All Rights Reserved.

09.09.12
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Training Tips for Runners

I received a message from a friend on Facebook about training for a half-marathon. Although my answer is relatively generic in response, I thought it would be useful to share on my blog.

Hey Darren!
I’m training for a half-marathon this Nov ( for the charity I work on) and I was wondering if you have any good exercise tips? I’m doing two short runs and one long run a week, and two days of weight training (focusing more on quads, upper body). Any good exercises you suggest for runners? Thanks hope all is well and congrats on the anniversary again!
~ Paul.

Here is my response:

First, I’d suggest a running coach (which I’m not) if this is a sport you want to pursue past this marathon. I can look into contacts. Someone to help you with running form.

A yoga class.

A yoga class. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Second, but maybe more important than the first, stretch. Learn how to stretch if you don’t know how. Hatha Yoga is a good place to start or even a studio advertising yoga for runners. Alternatively, if you want to come and do a stretch session with me for an hour we can make a time for that.

Thirdly, train the entire body. As An example, I’ve worked with a client who runs the Boston Marathon, Berlin and other full marathons. He benefited immensely from training upper body which he had never done before. For example improving chest, back and even arm strength contributes to how the upper body works with the lower body in movement and propulsion.

As for the legs do not neglect the entire leg. Most importantly hamstring and glutes. Hamstrings are exceptionally important for the health of the knee. Some of the best exercises you could do would be traditional deadlifts and squats. Also calves and toe ups (the opposite of doing calves). Both calves and your tibialis anterior help with ankle strength, toeing up and pushing off the ground while running.

Finally, The foam roller and massage will be your friend. Foam rolling is very important for taking down the tension on your IT band, which is commonly tight for runners and is the cause of ‘runner’s knee‘ (the IT band will get tight and pull the knee cap to the outside of the leg, causing incorrect and often painful tracking).

Trust this helps. If you have any further questions please let me know.

I’ve found that a lot of people train only certain parts of the body for a sport, usually because the dominant media markets fitness training in that way. It sells more articles to promote, ‘Strength Training for Runners’ than something less specific.

In truth, of course, you can’t really train for a sport. More importantly you should train your own weaknesses first, and then determine what aspects of your physical preparation you need to improve (Flexibility, Strength, Speed or Endurance). For example, in Paul’s case, let’s pretend that he wants to improve his run time. Without getting into a complicated exercise routine description, I would want to potentially focus on his squats and deadlift strength to improve his power. With squats, we could work on his ability to move the weight quickly and maybe jump squats, if appropriate for his body. I’d also work on his chest and horizontal pulling (like cable rows or bent-over barbell rows) to improve his arm cycle while running. Finally, after an analysis of his flexibility, I would recommend a series of stretches to create more range of motion and reduce injury potential. By increasing his range of motion, he can take a longer stride, thus fewer foot falls over the course of the marathon and therefore a lower energy cost.

Got a question like Paul’s? Feel free to comment below or email me and I will do my best to answer.

© 2012 Darren Stehle. All Rights Reserved.

09.05.12
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Don’t Let Judgements Hold You Back

One of the biggest challenges I face in my life is keeping the momentum of writing. I’ve had periods where I’ve written for months nearly every day. Sometimes I was working on articles for a website where I used to publish, or I would sit at home or at a coffee shop editing my words to self-publish my first book, ‘Flex Your Mind’.

Other times I was writing in my journal, doing what I called ‘morning pages’. I actually wrote this article this morning. I got up, went to the bathroom, had a glass of water, made a coffee and some oatmeal and sat down to write. I did not check my email or any messages or browse Facebook or any other sites online. I kept my brain open only to expressing my thoughts on paper. I did not allow myself any distractions.

Recently I’ve fallen out of the habit of regular writing. Who am I kidding, I mean months and months. I’ve published a few articles on my blog, but nothing to the extent that I had planned for myself. I have a list of article ideas from a few words to paragraphs long. I continually ask myself, ‘Why am I not sitting down to write these articles?’

Recently I purchased a series of CDs from Anthony Robbins. I was listening to one of the sessions in Personal Power Classic Edition. Robbins was talking about the things that hold us back; the things that make us not achieve our goals. To quote what he said,

“What’s real for you today is based on your past, based on your past experiences. And if you limit your future based on your past you’re not going anywhere.”

This observation really struck a chord within me and it was powerful enough for me to write it down. The degree to which anyone allows this to be true in any area of their life will determine where they are on the continuum of learned helplessness. I know that I do this in the area of being creative, namely writing articles and working on future book ideas, seminars and potential products. I’ve allowed myself to believe that I’m not good enough, that I’m not a great writer, that I’ll make mistakes like I have in the past and that I’ll be judged. However, the fear that I’ll be judged is important for me to understand. We will always be judged by others for everything that we do. Speaking for myself, I will be judged for my writing, my body, my tone of voice, a gift that I give to someone, a meal that I cook, an expression that I wear on my face while at work, missing a ball in volleyball or making a great hit, and, lastly for being gay.

What we have to remember is that judgment from others will always exist. It is part of the human condition. They can be both positive and negative influences on our lives. Judgements like, ‘Good job’ or ‘You could’ve done better’, are other people’s opinions and they are attached to their emotional reaction to whatever you have said or done. We need to be able to distance ourselves from the emotional association of the judgment of others, be it pride, joy, disappointment or annoyance. Those emotions are not our own unless we choose to make them our own.

If we choose to observe external judgments, as best we can, as an analysis or a measure external to ourselves, we can potentially use them as a secondary comparison for our own self-analysis.

I think the key is to ask the question, ‘How did I do?’ before allowing yourself to be influenced by opinions/judgments of others. As much as possible use the most positive opinions or helpful criticisms, i.e. seek useful feedback to improve and empower your self. Discard any and all opinions that are judgments based on negative and personally unhelpful emotions, i.e. when a judgment is really a reflection of ‘what’s wrong’ with the other person and not you.

So how do you take action to remove the limiting beliefs that are holding you back? Use the example of my personal reflection on writing. Is there something that you want to achieve in life but you continually dismiss said action or dream? For some people it’s the desire to make more money or to get a better job or career. Is there something that you keep working on, but you stop and start, and stop and start again? Do you keep trying the next, ‘new’ diet, hoping that you’ll loose weight? Do you join a gym in January, all fired up with New Year’s resolutions, only to go twice, if at all?

Ask yourself, what am I most afraid of? What do I love to do? What do I most want to do above everything else in my life? Then ask yourself, why am I not doing this? Ask yourself to feel for the specific emotions around whatever it is that you want, not doing or aspiring toward.

Oftentimes we are afraid that if we start something new and succeed at it, we might lose some friends. The classic example is the person who wants to lose weight. You might be afraid that if you succeed your friends might think you are now better than they are. When you are trying to lose weight you’re looking for a support system to help you succeed (like hiring a personal trainer or nutritionist who can give you that balanced, unbiased support). If you go out for dinner with your friends are also overweight it’s so easy for one of them to say, ‘It’s okay it’s just another piece of pie.’

These questions are only starting points. I admit that I’ve been working through this process and learning as I go. As I learn I hope that I can teach and help others to do the same thing. There is no single solution to solving your problems and there is no single guru to do the same. Take action right now at the end of this article to ask yourself the above questions. Write down your answers.

If you need more help to move forward there are literally thousands of resources in books, CDs, seminars and online resources. I would be happy to answer your comments or questions about materials that I have found useful.